We’ve been having a bit of fun with Jim today. Jim thinks he knows what’s going on in our relationship better than Lion and I do. Despite the fact that I want Lion to tell me when he isn’t feeling up to playing, Jim thinks that’s information I don’t need. If I wanted Lion to warn me when he was approaching an orgasm so I could stop in time, would Jim think that is information I don’t need? I don’t know. Jim?

Here’s the bottom line on bottoms. At least my bottom. Not my bottom. Lion. I want him to communicate with me. If I show up with a butt plug and he knows he’s got an upset stomach that might send him running for the bathroom, I’d rather have him tell me before we have a problem. If his back hurts and being on all fours for a spanking will be unbearable, I’d rather have him tell me. That’s not the kind of pain I want to cause him. If he is distracted by something at work and I’ll be stroking him forever while he works out an algorithm (or whatever the hell he thinks about for work), I’d rather have him tell me so my arm doesn’t go numb while Mr. Weenie remains flaccid. On the other hand, if he starts to tell me I should do something, I don’t want to hear it. “Should”s are topping from the bottom.

Now I suppose this would be different if I were looking for sex for myself. Then I may not care how Lion feels, at least as far as his own horniness is concerned. He doesn’t need to be horny to satisfy me. He doesn’t need to be unlocked to satisfy me. The only thing I need him horny and unlocked for is actual intercourse. Then we’d have a problem if I was horny and he wasn’t. I suspect, however, if I told Lion I needed him horny to take care of my needs, Mr. Weenie might be straining at the cage, begging to be unlocked. Giving me an orgasm is sort of an aphrodisiac for Lion. [Lion — Sort of? Sort of??? It’s the biggest turn on in the world for me.]

So, for our purposes, and that’s really the only purposes we can talk about, Lion isn’t topping from the bottom when he alerts me to a potential problem concerning his lack of interest. I will never judge him for it. I will never be mad at him for it. I will still be available for another form of play or snuggles. If/when he does top from the bottom, I will certainly let him know. It’s happened in the past and it’s bound to happen again, but not for this reason.

Yesterday was a better day for me. While I’m still not particularly horny, I spent the day having fond thoughts of Mrs. Lion doing things to me. This is a big improvement over Sunday when I couldn’t get interested in anything sexual. I have no idea why this has come over me, but the clouds seem to be on their way out.

Also yesterday I got the ever-so-predictable, lame comment from “Jim” accusing me of topping from the bottom. This is what it said:

OMG! Lion is a Master at “topping from the bottom”….

I decided to show this to you because it is very typical of how some people who have no idea what enforced chastity or FLR is about. You see, Jim, it’s this way. No real-life, full-time power exchange is practiced where the bottom has no say about anything. That’s just an insane Internet fantasy. In real life, people aren’t always in “play” mode. In our case, Mrs. Lion and I have full lives with jobs, bills, pets, and other day-to-day stuff that has nothing whatsoever to do with enforced chastity or FLR.

I don’t know how it is in your house, Jim, but in ours playtime is just that: a chance to do some sensation play and if I am lucky, some sexual teasing with an occasional orgasm thrown in. Mrs. Lion wants to know how I am feeling. She is topping me because she knows I want that. Sexual teasing and BDSM play are for my benefit. That’s pretty much the case with everyone. When I was topping, I enjoyed what I did, but mostly I was getting my pleasure from seeing how my bottom reacted. I liked being able to take her on a sensation journey.

Jim, very few tops are interested in expending the energy required to provide sensation to the bottom if they know the bottom isn’t going to have fun. Only fantasy “doms” aren’t interested in how their “subs” are doing. In real life, the idea is for everyone to end up happy, if not sexually satisfied.

Mrs. Lion is performing a service for me. She is providing me with activities that contribute to me being a happy lion. Do I want her to do things to me I don’t like? Yes! Do I want her to make me wait for an orgasm no matter how horny I am? You bet! But Jim, I am not that happy about putting us both through a scene that ends up with Mrs. Lion feeling that she did something wrong and with me feeling that I let her down. Nope, we don’t want that.

So, Jim, If things aren’t going well Mrs. Lion and I talk about it. If she decides that my desire to avoid play is genuine, she is happy to stop the action until we are both ready to go again. You see, Jim, we are a couple first and foremost. We do things to make each other happy. Yes, we have a  power exchange. And yes, Jim, Mrs. Lion has the final word. And no, Jim, she doesn’t consider it topping from the bottom if I say I am not feeling great about playing just then.