By:
In: 2.0, Anal play, Edging

Lion was cooking dinner yesterday. It was one of those things he could set and forget, but still had to check on from time to time. I decided to throw him a curve ball. I presented him with a choice – butt plug or pretty toenails. He said it was no contest. He chose the butt plug. I thought he might choose the pretty toenails since he had to keep an eye on dinner. I thought it would be the least distracting of the two. He said the butt plug had a shorter time frame. Ah yes, but he could ignore the pink toenails. I couldn’t talk him into the toenails. Of course, it doesn’t matter anyway. If I want him to have pink toenails, he’ll have pink toenails. It’s always nice to give him a choice and understand his reasoning though.

I knew he wouldn’t have to contend with the butt plug for long anyway because I really didn’t want Lion being uncomfortable while he was in the final stages of dinner prep. Too many things going on and he has to deal with holding onto the butt plug. Nope. I left it in for about 45 minutes and relieved him of it. I said it proved a point anyway. He wondered what the point was. That I can shove the butt plug in anytime I want. Of course I always can, but this was an unusual time of day. It was out of the blue. It was 2.0 mischief. It was, “Can you take the garbage out? And oh, by the way, here’s the butt plug.” Just normal conversation and then 2.0 pulls something out of thin air to keep him guessing.

The rest of the night was more predictable. I unlocked Lion and edged him over and over again. No ruined orgasm as I had feared. But he was panting and oozing by the time I was done. I really do know how to get his motor running. And then stall it. I wondered if he’d be horny enough for an orgasm by the 30th. He says he doesn’t think he will be. Time will tell. 2.0 can be very persuasive.

By:
In: Keyholder, Keyholder101, Lion's Journal

I’ve been thinking about our enforced chastity and what made it work. I can’t claim that we had a grand plan and by following it, succeeded. There is no grand plan. There never was. Most guys start off in enforced chastity attempting to turn a very hot sexual fantasy into reality. Chances are very good that the person they select as keyholder has never heard of this kink before.

Let’s assume you are the female partner in a vanilla relationship. One evening your partner tells you that he wants to be locked in a male chastity device. He shows you one. You love him a lot. So you ask him to explain what he wants. He tells you about his fantasy. He wants you to put this device on his penis and then leave it there until he is exploding with desire. He tells you that by doing this, he will focus only on you and will spend his life pleasing you in any way he can.

You are skeptical. You wonder if he has been holding back all these years and only by locking him up, will discover he can do so much more. That doesn’t feel like an incentive to you. In fact, this fantasy seems completely unrealistic. On the other hand, you don’t see any immediate downside, so you say yes. He puts on the device. It looks uncomfortable. He hands you the lock and keys. He shows you where to put the lock. You lock him in. Now what?

If he is smart, he kisses you and thanks you for doing this for him. If he isn’t, he’ll start telling you what you should do now. It will be an unrealistic list of activities, most not particularly interesting to you. He is very excited and you can see that his penis is trying to get erect in its cage.

At this point you may decide to indulge him and try to do the things he asks. If the list isn’t too long or annoying, you fall into a rhythm of activities and waiting. You still don’t see what he gets out of it, but you are reasonably comfortable indulging him. After a while, he may get tired of the game and want to get out. Or, he will escalate his list of “shoulds” until you feel overwhelmed and call an end yourself.

There is a third path: success. This involves changing the game. As his keyholder you recognize that under all his fantasy talk, he is asking for a simple power exchange. The fantasies revolve around the idea that you make him want sex, but deny him until you feel like letting him ejaculate. That’s it. The other stuff is sexual fantasy he has used to masturbate.

Once you recognize this simple truth, it’s fairy easy to provide him with exactly what he wants without the burden of his masturbatory fantasies. You realize that while he may want indefinite lockup, he is accustomed to sex of some kind fairly regularly. He doesn’t realize how difficult long waits will be at first. So you start him off with a nice handjob every five to seven days. You realize that his desire is to be controlled, so every day or two you unlock him and masturbate him to the edge of orgasm a few times and lock him up again.

This increases his desire and reinforces your sexual control. You can do other things too. While he is locked up, you can have him please you with his mouth or hands. My suggestion is to avoid penetration for the first month or two. He can misinterpret penetration as taking back control. Over time, you can increase his wait. It will take a while for him to learn to manage less frequent orgasms, but if you gradually increase his time, he will learn. Go from a week to ten days; then go to two weeks. Gradually increase the waits to the level you wish. Many men, even with regular teasing, will start to find it easier and easier to manage their desire as the longer waits go on. So, as a good keyholder, when you see that subtle drop off in interest, you give him an orgasm and start the frustrating process all over again. This can be fun for you.

This is just one approach. You will most likely come up with one of your own. The point is that acting out his chastity fantasies will probably not work over time. Coming up with your own approach can turn enforced chastity into a permanent part of your lives. That’s what happened with us. Mrs. Lion experiments and learns what works for us both. We’ve discovered that enforced chastity has benefits far beyond sexual play. So, if I ever get tired of it, tough luck! I’m locked up for life.

By:
In: 2.0, Edging, Mrs Lion Comments

I find that Lion is a lot less horny than he was a few weeks ago. What changed? I’m not sure. He seems to get just as aroused, but it takes longer. It’s OK though. I’m not under any time constraint. I don’t need him to get to the edge in less than a minute. We can work up slowly. It’s just an observation.

Lion still gets to the edge. And I’ve been trying to push him closer and closer. For whatever reason, I’ve been able to push him further but not go too far. Now I’ve jinxed myself. Tonight I’ll probably go too far and he’ll have a ruined orgasm because I got too cocky. Pun intended. At any rate, I can almost hear him begging for just one more stroke to make it over the edge. Sadly, I have stopped in time. A few nights ago he had precum dripping for a while afterwards. I don’t think he did last night. [Lion — Yes I did! I was moving around afterward and 2.0 didn’t see. It was messy.] But I do not think it was any less intense. He was still a puddle.

I want to make sure Lion gets back to his very horny state before I give him another orgasm. I want him to really want one. Of course, just wanting one doesn’t mean he’ll get it. That’s only the beginning. He can’t wake up on the 30th, overly horny and expect to have an orgasm because it’s on the calendar. Nope. That’s not how it works. 2.0 has to be ready to give him one. Or, as she likes to say, take it from him. And I guess, technically, if he goes past his scheduled date by too much she might decide to take it whether he’s horny enough or not. I mean, fair is fair. Lion may think 2.0 owes him an orgasm, but doesn’t he really owe her one? They are her orgasms after all.

So on we march. Toward the scheduled date and prepping Lion for his orgasm. I mean 2.0’s orgasm. They say the journey is half the fun. 2.0 thinks it’s more than half the fun.

By:
In: 2.0, Lion's Journal

Enforced chastity and FLR involve activities designed to enhance sexual desire in the caged male. More accurately, there are two distinct sets of activities, at least in our relationship: The first, enforced chastity is intended to not just prevent me from sexual release, but to make me want it very badly. The objective for us isn’t to see how long I can be forced to abstain. It’s how horny I can be kept until I am finally allowed release. The second, FLR, is more of a lifestyle. Combined with domestic discipline, its purpose is to assure that Mrs. Lion is in charge of all things and has the power to make and enforce rules. We are still trying to figure out how this will work in our relationship.

There is nothing that says enforced chastity has to include the kind of play we do. We decided that I was to be kept as horny as possible and that we would incorporate BDSM activities that turn me on. Mrs. Lion likes the way I react to these activities. She likes her lion squirming and unbearably aroused. I like it too, at least before and after the activities. Now that we are in our third year of enforced chastity, we understand the way it fits into our lives. We are now fine tuning our practices to maximize the effects we want.

Notice that I said “we”. The fantasy has the caged male as victim with no voice in what happens to him sexually. Our reality is that once objectives are set, we work together to maximize the effectiveness of Mrs. Lion’s keyholding. We do this through our posts, email, and conversations. She is always interested in how I feel about what we try. Some have commented that is topping from the bottom. It isn’t.

An effective top needs feedback from the bottom; the more the better. It doesn’t mean that the bottom is dictating what will happen, but it means that the top can analyze how the bottom reacts and use that information to be more effective. For example, Mrs. Lion likes to play with clothespins on my balls. Depending on the type of clothespin (wood or plastic) there is more or less pinch. Where she puts them affects how much pain they cause. She knows I am sexually excited when she uses them on me. That’s obvious. But my feedback after we finish about how it felt and what worked and didn’t work helps her decide how to improve the effect. Often that means she will do more of what made me most uncomfortable. Topping from the bottom, ha!

The same is true of FLR. She just doesn’t turn into the perfect leader overnight. I am not immediately obedient and submissive to her. There’s a learning process; a long one. We both have to fit into our roles. Feedback and fine tuning is critical in making FLR work on a continuing basis.

The big difference between BDSM and our versions of enforced chastity and FLR is that our activities are ongoing. We aren’t doing scenes. We are changing the way we live. That takes time and experimentation. Lioness 2.0 is the latest step in fine tuning our power exchange. The big change is that Lioness 1.0 would try my suggestions and stop the activity when it was clear I no longer was having fun. That’s an excellent way for us both to learn just what works, but it isn’t as much a power exchange as a play session.

2.0 still hears my feedback and knows when things are getting tough for me. Unlike 1.0, 2.0 doesn’t necessarily stop when the fun goes out of something for me. She continues until she thinks I have had enough. On Thursday night, she use the Njoy butt plug on me. After about an hour it started to get uncomfortable. She noticed and asked me if it was bothering me. I said it was. She said, “In that case, we’ll leave it in a while longer.”

I asked when she will remove it. Her answer was, “When I think it is time.”

That’s new. I ended up wearing it for another half hour or so. I was really happy to have it out. 2.0 made her point that what we do isn’t about what I want. It’s about what she wants. Last weekend when she pegged me, she continued long after I was uncomfortable. Over time I will learn to better deal with this discomfort; or I won’t. It doesn’t matter. 2.0 will do what she wants.

That bit of fine tuning is profound to me. It makes me feel on a very deep level that I can’t control things. If 2.0 wants me to hurt, then I will hurt. If she wants me to come, I will come for her. It’s not about me. This is a change that will take me a while to fully accept. But it doesn’t matter. I have no choice.