Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday shows how completely both enforced chastity and FLR are integrated into our relationship. She described a problem we had Sunday night. I won’t go into it again. You can read about it in her post. I had misbehaved; not in the classic BDSM-like way, but in a real-life, grumpy lion way. In many marriages an incident like this would have turned into a fight or bad feelings that would extend over days.
Even though we aren’t very advanced in FLR, we are far enough along that instead of the silent treatment or hours of passive aggressive anger, the problem was managed with a penny. Yesterday, punishment day, she informed me that I had a penny in my naughty-lion bank. I would be spanked for my grumpy behavior Sunday night.
That may not sound like a big deal, but it is. The incident in question was completely unrelated to enforced chastity or any rules I have to follow. Instead, it was a marital bump caused by the different ways we handle unexpected things. The fact that Mrs. Lion was very accepting of a more-than-an-hour wait for the friend to show up was annoying, not to mention the fact we sat in the car outside a hotel for that hour. When the friend finally sent a text that she was there but couldn’t find us, we learned that we were at the wrong hotel. We spent another twenty minutes going to the correct one.
I was very angry. Mrs. Lion wasn’t. In her mind, shit happens. In mine, it was thoughtlessness on the part of the friend combined with bad planning. Sound like a situation that would bring on a fight? It didn’t. I was grumpy for a while. I learned the consequence for that the next morning.
It doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong. Mrs. Lion recognizes that very well. I upset her and that is all that counts. I didn’t try to argue with her. I would have in the past. I’ve learned that she has the last word on everything; even things I am sure I am right about. I kept my mouth shut. I just fumed silently. That fuming earned me a sore bottom last night.
I agree that I deserved it. FLR is about real-life surrender to my disciplining wife. Before this incident I privately wondered if either of us had internalized our power exchange. Apparently we are starting to do it now. If we were more advanced, Mrs. Lion would have told me to stop acting like a baby and suck it up and would have spanked me right there on the spot. That’s the next step, I think.
At some point we will figure out how to make punishment come closer to the event that earned it. For the time being, we have punishment nights. They are effective to me and work for her. Power exchanges are a funny thing; once they start to take root, they grow faster and faster and often go in directions neither person expected. Stay tuned.