Sure it was. We went to a big box store yesterday and, as I said in my post, Lion was in the shock collar. When he put it on we tested it. Zap. A little tingle. Adjust up one setting. Zap. A little more tingle. Up another setting. Zap. Maybe one more. Zap! Almost through the ceiling. And back off one setting.
I didn’t really expect to have to use the shock collar. Lion is generally very well behaved when he’s wearing it. I usually just give him a little zap to make him jump. When we got out of the truck and he was walking around to meet me – zap! – and a yelp from Lion. I love the look on his face. It’s a cross between “what did I do?” and “oh crap, she’s going to zap me for the hell of it”. It’s amazing how powerful a little zap can be.
Unfortunately, Lion had to visit the men’s room and in the process the shock collar magically stopped working. I tried to zap him and he didn’t feel a thing. That’s convenient. He gets zapped a few times and suddenly the zapper stops functioning? Uh huh. (I’m having a little fun at Lion’s expense.) It is very easy for the button to get pushed. We thought he might have done it while he was rearranging himself. When we got home he realized that it hadn’t been turned off. His underwear had managed (somehow, by chance, yeah right) to get in between his skin and the electrode.
Lion thinks this proves that the purse paddle is the only effective way of punishing for away games. The truth is that the shock collar hasn’t been all that reliable from the beginning. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Most of the time I forget I even have the remote with me. And unless Lion does something horrible, I’m more likely to bring the infraction up once we’re home anyway. But I suppose, if Lion can be trained, I can be trained too so we’ll continue to try the shock collar and now the purse paddle.
Last night we watched a movie that Lion was dying to see. I can’t tell you how many times he said he wanted to see it. Then he found it on pay-per-view. And he spent weeks telling me he wanted to watch it. So watch it already! It was “The Big Short.” I don’t like financial movies. They’re boring. This one explained how the big banks defrauded people and the entire country suffered. I told Lion I don’t need to know how they did it to be pissed off about it. But I sat next to him and “watched” it with him while I played on my iPad. Later on, he was looking for love.
By ten p.m. on most nights, Lion is too tired for love. Last night he was wide awake. Ready for some fun. So I took out the Magic Wand, but it was dead. Phooey! Too bad. Good thing I have two hands. I edged Lion so many times I thought he’d spontaneously combust. Especially since, at the end, I was relentless. I edged him and gave him about two seconds rest before I started again. Over and over. And, if that wasn’t bad enough, I ended, like I do on most nights, with some oral attention. Then Lion went back into the cage and muttered that he was hornier than ever. Perfect!
Today is his scheduled date. I don’t think he’ll come tonight either. But the Magic Wand will be all charged up and waiting for him.
