I’ve been thinking about why our power exchanges have improved our already-great marriage. We went into enforced chastity a happy couple. Now that we are in our third year of orgasm control, we are even happier. After many months of thinking about this, I may have an explanation: Lubrication.
As any of us who have been pegged know, lube makes things much more comfortable. The reason it does is that it reduces painful friction. If there is no lube, chances are very good that there will be no pegging. Relationships aren’t all that different. In our case, everything but sex was working amazingly well. Sexually, each of us was unhappy that the other wasn’t doing something. We had friction. Rather than generating more pain, we backed away from it. The feelings were still there, but by backing away the issue moved into the background.
We needed lube. In this case, the lube was enforced chastity. It succeeded because we had to agree on how sex would work once we started. I lost the ability to independently find any sexual relief and Mrs. Lion got the responsibility of managing what sex she chose to let me enjoy. By employing this power exchange, our roles were clearly defined and sexual friction was reduced.
But lube alone isn’t enough. Polish is required too. Going back to our pegging analogy, even with lube pegging would be unbearably painful if you use a rough piece of wood to do the penetration. There would be splinters and plenty of irritation. However, if you round the corners off the wood and then use wax and polish it, it will move smoothly in a lubed orifice.
It was one thing to use enforced chastity to define our sexual roles, but without the polish of communication and willingness to adapt, sex would still be uncomfortable enough to convince us to give up. Fortunately, we have been good with the polishing process and the lube (the chastity device) is firmly in place. The result is a much happier couple.
In fact, we decided to expand our power exchange to give Mrs. Lion more general ownership over me. The lube, in this case, is domestic discipline. Along with the agreement that she would have control went a method to assure I would obey and work hard to meet her expectations; hence the frequent spankings I receive.
Like the chastity device, the domestic discipline alone isn’t enough. We need some polish too. In this case, Mrs. Lion learns to be more aware of what she wants and what she wants me to change. I have to accept both her control and the punishment she chooses to use to help me with my education.
The polishing substance, if you will, the sandpaper to smooth us, are rules. It doesn’t matter what the rules are. They can be important or just silly. The key is that Mrs. Lion learns to be observant of my behavior and unwilling to accept any infraction, even the smallest one. This isn’t realistic as a way of life, but it gives us training wheels to learn how to change the power balance in our relationship.
So, to build the right habits, we have to work to observe and immediately punish any infraction, no matter how small. Ideally, Mrs. Lion will observe each one and deal with it as soon as possible, even if inconvenient. I share the responsibility of working hard to obey as well as pointing out infractions she might miss. One rule of mine is that I can be punished for failing to report an infraction. She may deliberately “overlook” something just to test my compliance.
When the training wheels are off and we are well polished, Mrs. Lion will apply a lot more judgement to her decisions to enforce her will. We are only starting the rough sanding. We both miss opportunities for observation and consistent discipline. That is to be expected. Polishing takes lots of time and elbow grease. Unlike enforced chastity, there is no physical device to assure that we faithfully follow our roles. Instead, we have to develop new patterns of thinking and behavior.
The benefits of enforced chastity have been improved intimacy and a lot more satisfaction in all phases of our relationship. I think the benefits of FLR will be a balancing of our individual ways of living. I will learn to be much more accepting and learn to be obedient even when I don’t want to do what I am told. Mrs. Lion will learn to have expectations and know they will be met. She will also learn to express her feelings when she feels them and not be afraid that she will hurt me. In fact, with domestic discipline, we will both learn that when she is displeased I will most definitely be hurt.
I don’t know how long it will take for us to become well polished. I do know that both of us are committed to making this work. But when we are done, we will be a well-oiled FLR machine.