Al La Carte

One of the more difficult things to reconcile when writing this blog is that Mrs. Lion and I use it to capture our activities in enforced chastity and our brand of female led relationship. That means the picture we present isn’t particularly pure in reference to any specific power exchange. As Mark pointed out in a comment the other day,

“In our case, for example, we very much enjoy the chastity play, but we’re emphatically not a FLR, nor do I think we ever would be – neither of us wants that. Conversely, I’m sure that there are other couples – in fact I’ve met several – that are already firmly female-dominant, and I’m sure that male chastity would be a terrific addition for them. Hearing from others with their own particular slant would be good thing.”

Mark makes a valid point. Just because Mrs. Lion and I are practicing both enforced male chastity and FLR doesn’t mean that you can only get value out of our blog if you also do both.

If you’ve explored this site you have seen that we have pages that contain articles on various aspects of both male chastity and female led relationships. Those “static” pages are my way of providing information devoted to a single interest.

What we do now is the result of years of experimentation. We (I, mostly) read and imagine. Then a suggestion is made and after discussion, we try it. If it works, we add it to our repertoire. After a while, if it keeps working, it becomes part of our lifestyle. That’s what happened with male chastity and later, with FLR. Our posts document our experiments, successes and failures.

It’s unreasonable to expect someone new to us to go back and read every post we’ve written to date. That would take a very long time. I have to say that every day at least ten people spend more than 16 hours on this site, presumably reading lots of posts. That brings me back to Mark’s comment. He recognizes that Mrs. Lion and I are writing about our particular, sexual power exchanges. It makes no sense to separate them editorially.

Of course there may be no need to separate them. Could our enforced chastity work successfully if we didn’t also include wider power exchange? Or, more likely, could we just practice male chastity without anything else and stay with it permanently? Is the real essence of my enforced chastity the stuff that Mrs. Lion does in that half hour I am unlocked?

I think that the suspense and delayed sexual gratification are what I like most about being locked in a chastity device. The activities that keep me in suspense have, in turn, created an atmosphere of increased physical intimacy in our marriage. It’s true; we could have left it right there: me locked up and teased every night with an orgasm thrown in every now and then. To Mark’s point, that is a perfectly reasonable male chastity life style.

We didn’t leave it there. That’s my fault. I like the feeling of being controlled by my lioness, so we expanded the power exchange further. The benefits this time turned out to be non-sexual. Mrs. Lion is “learning” to tell me how she feels about things I do. She disciplines me as needed (Domestic Discipline, yet another kink in our mixed bag). She is also making more decisions for us. I love this change.

One thing I would like to make clear: All of these practices (FLR, enforced chastity, Domestic Discipline) are not strictly defined. They are just labels that you can apply any way you want. We aren’t the poster lions for each of these things. We do what works for us. We apply the labels as a convenience, not as the name of a particular set of activities. We dine from the power exchange menu al la carte.

4 comments on “Al La Carte
  1. Cara says:

    First time commenter here. I recently stumbled onto your blog and it’s such a breath of fresh air from some of the chastity blogs out there! I love you and Mrs. Lion’s style of writing and how honest you are. As someone who is just getting involved with chastity and possibly into a FLR the advice you guys have provided here has been invaluable.

  2. 1.5 says:

    I agree with Ms. Cara.
    For us, the FLM part of this is a way for my husband to release his requirement of being the decision maker ALL the time. It’s an out in a way to having to be the one in control all the time. In every day life, he’s the leader of this family. The guide. In his own career he’s the chief. But in our love life, he gets a chance to relax and let me make decisions for us, and it is ALL in love. It’s two-fold. It works for us both. Me, the naturally passive, go with the flow – I get to take some of that leadership and him, the rock, the leader gets to be follower. It offers us both another facet of growth and strength. Who’d have thought!

    • Caged Lion says:

      Your situation sounds exactly like ours. Our FLM gives me a break from being the sole leader. Like minus, I am the leader of our family. Mrs. Lion is a “get along, go along” person. She is now becoming the leader some of the time. I think it is Yin Yang. Power, like most things in life, needs balance. I need a break from constant leadership. Mrs. Lion similarly needs to have a strong voice and control. When 2.0 comes along, I utter a silent “uh oh”. That means my influence no longer going to help shape things. It is a bit scary for me, but 2.0 is right; it’s exactly what I want and need.

What do you think?