We’ve been in a lull. In her post yesterday, Mrs. Lion said that a key reason that I need to continue wearing a chastity device, whether I want to or not, is that she will likely slip back into the old pattern of ignoring sex for me. I think that is true. I will, in turn, withdraw feeling rejected and we might return to our prior, undesirable situation.
Until very recently I believed that we were past such regression. But now I’m not so sure. Yesterday afternoon I mentioned that this was the weekend for manscaping. Mrs. Lion looked unhappy. I asked why; was she tired of doing this for me? She replied that it was just one more thing that had to be done. Our sexual activity has fallen off too. Yes, we have both been tired; and yes, I’m worried that after my work contract runs out next week that I won’t be able to find work again. This could explain our lack of activity. But I’m not so sure.
Has enforced chastity and FLR become chores? Is being on the dominant side of the power exchange become work? It’s not that there are competing activities dragging us away from play. Yes, we run errands on weekends. But after 4pm we are done and the TV goes on and Mrs. Lion retreats to her iPad. If I say something there is a good chance that she will put it down and do something sexual with me. But it requires my initiation. Similarly, if I break a rule, she notices, but forgets to punish me later. Again, if I remind her, my butt will feel her wrath. But I am the active party.
As she wrote yesterday, Mrs. Lion knows she isn’t very consistent. Her nature is more passive and reactive. One of the main reasons I am locked in a chastity device is to remind her to be consistent in the role she has accepted. I’ve worried that I could end up in the device and she would retreat back into her former, reactive self. I think that is what is happening now.
Last year, we went through much harder times with way more exhausting intrusions without missing a beat. Of course, I was writing a lot more about things I would like to try. My wonderful lioness gamely tried them. I’ve done almost none of that in recent months. And our activities have nearly ceased. I don’t want to control things. I don’t want to indirectly stimulate activities by writing about ideas I have. Most of all, I don’t want to go back to the way it was before enforced chastity, especially if I do it wearing a chastity device. I’m not a naturally consistent person. I help myself stay on top of things by using my calendar to remind me of things I want to do. I can’t tell Mrs. Lion how she can be consistent. But I feel it when she isn’t.
I’m not suggesting that we stop enforced chastity and our FLR marriage. I am saying that the way things are going now doesn’t work for me. I’m pretty sure it isn’t working very well for Mrs. Lion either. We need to talk and work out how to get things going again.
We all go through cycles. Consistency is difficult for all of us. I think the key is to not panic and to talk it out. My normal state is to be silent. I’m learning I have to force myself to speak when things are bothering me. And I’d better speak if things are bothering Mrs. C. Nothing makes her madder than my silence. Communication is key for couples!
It’s very interesting, we definitely go through cycles. The challenge for me is I’m submissive (although increasingly less and less lol), so as you describe here, keeping hubby in chastity, especially using a cage does act as a prompt for me to be proactive – and it works really well a lot of the time.
But sometimes it does feel like just another thing to do. I guess I have two responses to that. One is to up my game and just do something – we have a ‘ten second rule’ for him playing with me to see if I get switched on into doing more. But also I’m starting to love the fact I really can just roll over and say ‘not tonight dear’ and leave him horny and frustrated, and he LIKES that (in moderation, but still, it’s turned a negative into a positive,which is fab!)
Your ten second rule is a very interesting idea. It seems a bit short to me, but still…