As Mrs. Lion wrote she was uncomfortable on Friday night. Things like that are bound to come up with any couple. I could have as easily been in pain from bending the wrong way. The temptation is to suspend activity until the situation improves. Mrs. Lion withdrew physically and emotionally. She moved to her side of the bed and focused on her iPad. There was no conversation about how she was feeling or about plans for me she was unable to execute. After an hour or two of this silence, I was quietly fuming. I’m OK with no action, but definitely not happy when we stop talking about things, particularly our FLR/enforced chastity. I felt that we were reverting to our old pattern, only this time I was locked up with no access to my penis.
I’m not suggesting that my lioness had no reason to avoid me. She was hurting. But the old pattern that has been so destructive is when she just withdraws and doesn’t share what’s going on. This is a bit like the job situation; I’m overly sensitive to thus behavior because I know how bad it was in the past.
But what’s a lioness to do? Apparently the last thing on her mind was any kind of activity with me. She could see I was upset but didn’t ask me what was going on. I didn’t volunteer anything because, as you know, I have been feeling that I am driving our FLR and enforced chastity. I truly don’t want to do that. We had a communication impasse. Apparently, we still don’t know how to use our power exchange to handle these situations.
In my mind, at least, dealing with these disconnects should be pretty easy. For one thing, the problem wasn’t me rebelling against her authority. It was me feeling abandoned. Clearly, Mrs. Lion was unable to do anything physical. She was in pain. But there were options. The one option I didn’t want to exercise was to tell her that I was feeling badly about the silence and not feeling her control. If I did that, she would have played with me even though she was in pain. I didn’t want that at all.
She had some good options, however. For one thing she could have told me to stop pouting and let me know that when she felt better I would be punished. That would have worked very well. A lioness growl goes a long way. Another easy option was to put me in diapers because I was pouting like a baby. I’m sure there are other ideas easily as effective.
As it turns out, yesterday Mrs. Lion independently decided to put me in diapers for being a baby. It’s too bad she waited so long. I’m learning that the closer the response to the problem, the better it is for me, possibly both of us. The one thing that doesn’t work is to ignore my reaction. Doing that brings all the old ghosts to life. I’m discovering that the longer I am in a submissive role, the more dependent I am on Mrs. Lion’s dominance. When it is not forthcoming I feel lost and hurt. I don’t like that about myself. I hope I can become less dependent while maintaining my role. I guess we both have a lot more to learn.