Lion learned yesterday that he probably won’t hear about the job he really wants until next week, at least. On the one hand, he knows this can be a long drawn out process. On the other, he wants to know now. Right now! If you can imagine a lion in a zoo pacing back and forth in his tiny enclosure, you get the sense of what Lion is going through. Of course, my Lion has a bit more to occupy his time than his zoo counterpart, but in his mind he’s pacing.
And being home all day with the dog is having another effect on him. His allergies are bothering him a lot. He’s been very itchy. And between the itchiness and the job search, he isn’t sleeping well. So last night when I unlocked him and started fondling my, it sounded like he was falling asleep. He said he was tired. I said we could just snuggle. He said he needed to move to scratch. For the rest of the night we held hands. He apologized for not being in the mood.
Lion never has to apologize for not being in the mood. For the most part, we’re doing all this for him. I don’t mean that to sound like I wouldn’t miss any of it if we stopped. I just mean, since he’s the one interested in sex, he doesn’t need to feel bad for not wanting any at that particular moment. Even if I was also horny, his not being in the mood is nothing to apologize for. So? We try again tomorrow. Or the next day. We’re still together. Not being interested, or feeling ill, doesn’t mean we can’t still hold hands. Barring that, it doesn’t mean we aren’t a few feet apart on the bed watching TV.
I’ve been trying to be very specific with Lion after our altercation the other day. I’m determined to unlock him every night. If I’m not planning to play, I will tell him then. The second my plans change, I will tell him. The other thing I’m working on is my response to him. If he steps out of line, I need to let him know. His snarky answer to my asking if he was OK should not be tolerated. Being mad at me for not playing when he knew I was feeling rotten (and he did know because I told him several times) is not acceptable. I guess all lion tamers need to be prepared for some push back.
In turn, Lion needs to tell me when something is wrong. To me, he did the stereotypical woman’s response of “If you don’t know what’s wrong, I’m certainly not going to tell you!” I know he hates when I get silent on him. I’m not a fan of his silent treatment either. So we both have things to work on. Our increased communication isn’t perfect. Whose is? But it’s certainly a lot better than it was.