Sex isn’t on my mind at all right now. Mrs. Lion believes that’s to be expected since I had an orgasm Tuesday. She’s partially right. I am normally not too interested in getting off the day after I come. The thing is that lately, while I get short bursts of sexual interest, most of the time my libido is hiding. Tuesday night when we were snuggling my libido was dormant. I liked the attention I was getting, but I just didn’t feel my erection rising to the occasion. I asked Mrs. Lion to use the Magic Wand. The very intense stimulation it provides can generally overcome reluctance.
It worked. I should be happy about that, but I’m not. Why did I need mechanical assistance? It was, after all, four days since my last orgasm. That’s normally long enough to assure my interest. Not right now. Even though at the moment Mrs. Lion was snuggling with me my libido wasn’t very active, another part of me needed to react to her sexually. I don’t pretend to fully understand this, but I do have an idea what is going on.
My lack of interest is rooted in worry about being out of work. The fact that it took so long to find work last time I didn’t have a job, has scarred me. Even though I’ve been out of work only a couple of weeks, I feel the way I did last time after my unemployment ran out. It’s like I am picking up where I left off in terms of depression and fear.
I don’t want to be distracted by worry. I want to find ways to avoid worry and depression. They are counterproductive and can initiate a self-fulfilling spiral of failure. Tuesday night I knew I needed to get hard. I needed to be edged. I wanted my life to continue as usual.
I need my focus to be razor sharp on finding a new job. I don’t want to be distracted by fear or worry. For me, at least, one of the biggest problems of unemployment is lack of people I can talk with. I’m alone at home with the TV and my computer. Sure, I can read and write, but I can’t converse. I tend to be a loner. I don’t have a social circle beyond my lioness. Neither of us is particularly social. So, I’m alone. I don’t do all that well by myself. When Mrs. Lion is around, I am very happy. When she isn’t, I have too much time to worry.
Tuesday, I really needed to break through this fog. I needed to enjoy the sexual feelings I had earlier in the day. Between my allergies and the difficult day I spent alone, when I finally had the chance, I couldn’t rise to the occasion. Mrs. Lion and the Magic Wand came through. Then, happily, I came. I don’t want sex to become a casualty of life’s little dramas. It’s way too easy for enforced chastity,, and sex to get pushed into the background. I can’t come up with a single reason why these activities truly interfere with handling external issues like unemployment.