The sun did come out on Sunday. On Saturday night, Mrs. Lion surprised me with oral edging. This time she restrained herself and even though I got very close, I didn’t get to come. My no-orgasm-before date is today. So, starting today odds improve that I will get to come. I’m lucky in that Mrs. Lion really enjoys giving me orgasms. That makes me a temptation each time she unlocks me. Oh yes, after the edging session on Saturday night, I was back in my cage. I can’t say that I exactly missed it, but it does feel comfortable now that it is back in place.
It may seem silly, but I starting to realize that being locked into a chastity device is a sort of sex insurance policy for me. When I’m wearing the device I know that Mrs. Lion is thinking of me sexually. What? Let me explain. As long as I am locked in the Jail Bird, we both know that I have no chance to get erect and come. I’m sure that fact crosses her mind now and then. Certainly, it must when we are together since I am naked and the cage is in plain view. I know that I’m not triggering her libido, but I am reaching her consciousness. That’s enough for her to consider my plight and take appropriate action.
On the other hand, if I am a wild lion, there is nothing to note. My penis is exposed in its natural state. On some level she knows that she has nothing to do to allow me to function normally. I have no idea if this is true or not, but in my mind if I am in the wild state, she is free to return to our old pattern of sexless friendship. I’m not saying that would really happen; in fact, I’m very sure it wouldn’t. But on a deeper, emotional level, I don’t feel as confident.
In fact, I think I have been conditioned to associate the chastity device with sex. Over the last years I have almost always had sexual attention a short time after the cage was removed. That makes sense since the cage has been on almost constantly for over two years. I’ve learned that when the cage comes off, I get aroused and get some sexual attention from my lioness. When I’m wild for any length of time (the longest being about a week when the cage was being adjusted), there is no assurance I will get any sexual attention at all. In fact, when we went camping and I was uncaged during the three and four day trips, I did get some sexual attention. But it felt different to me.
I don’t think either of us intended for me to associate being locked in a chastity device with getting sexual attention. In retrospect, it makes sense. For years before enforced chastity I had almost no sexual attention from Mrs. Lion. From the very start, when the chastity device was locked on, I got very frequent and consistent sexual stimulation from her. I’ve learned that being locked means I will get sexual attention.
Maybe one reason I want to be locked up and I’m not entirely comfortable when the device is off is at least partly based on my unconscious association with chastity and sexual attention. That could explain why I want to get the device on as soon as possible after an edging or orgasm session. I can’t say for sure. This really is subconscious.
If, in fact, I am now conditioned to wear the device for whatever subconscious reasons, is that the desired state for a male under sexual control? Is this what makes a keyholder happy? I’ve been trained away from masturbation. I don’t even think about it anymore. And now I’m trained to need to be locked in a chastity device. I know Mrs. Lion is happy I no longer want to masturbate. I wonder how she feels about my need to be locked up. I’m not sure how I feel about it.
This may pose a practical problem. There are times, like when we use our camper, when it is much easier for me to not wear the cage. The design of RV toilets makes peeing sitting down a very wet, unpleasant exercise for me. My balls end up in the toilet water. But if I am not comfortable in this state, what can we do. It’s way too much trouble to ask her to unlock me each time I want to pee. I suppose I could use a diaper which avoids the problem in the camper. When we go out, there are generally urinals or conventional toilets. Alternatively, maybe wearing a cock ring will be a suitable substitute for the cage. If it works, my vote is for the cock ring. Diapers are not my favorite fashion accessory. I have serious doubts, however, the ring will work.
Of course, I can just suck it up and go wild when required. I just don’t know.