It’s Not About Your Orgasms

We get comments fairly regularly about the conflict between a keyholder’s desire for penetration and the male’s desire to remain locked in enforced chastity. One of our readers, Collaredmichael wrote:

We are in our second trial contract that will go several months. And then we’ll see! I do know she likes penetration and while I have alternatives and extenders she prefers the real thing. So I seldom go more than two weeks without it. But after two weeks it is difficult to prevent orgasm.

The issue is that his wife wants his penis inside her and he finds himself unable to prevent orgasm after a couple of weeks. This is a very common situation. I think that this indicates a misunderstanding about enforced chastity. Pretty much every keyholder learns about chastity from her partner. If she had any prior awareness of it at all, it probably wasn’t something she thought much about.

Guys, on the other hand, will spend endless hours reading and thinking about being locked in a chastity device. They main symbol of being chaste is orgasm denial. To many guys, the longer the denial before orgasm, the better the chastity experience. This is communicated to the keyholder. Along with this concept of extended male denial is the idea that he can provide his keyholder with all the sex she wants so long as it doesn’t include his orgasm.

If a guy can hold off his orgasm when he is being sexually stimulated, then the keyholder who wants penetration could have all the sex she wants without letting her partner come. Very few guys can do that. I am impressed by those who can. In Collaredmicheal’s case, he can hold out for a week or two but then he just can’t help himself. His comment indicates that both he and his wife are disappointed by this. That’s because by his definition, orgasm denial ends too soon.

I suggest you reconsider what enforced chastity really is. For one thing, it is sexual control of the male by his keyholder. He is prevented from orgasm unless his keyholder decides he should have one. Generally, the “enforced” part is a chastity device locked on his penis. But hardware isn’t really necessary. Enforcement can be supplied by force of will or by punishment for failure to abstain. Note that the focus is abstention. So, guys assume that since the conversation is about abstaining, then the measure of enforced chastity sucess is the length of abstention. It really isn’t.

Enforced chastity is about control; sexual control. It’s not about how long a male can be kept from an orgasm. It’s about someone else deciding when he can have one. So, Collaredmichael, you can be locked in a device until your wife wants your penis for her entertainment. If  you both know that you will orgasm whether she wants you to or not after two weeks, then she may decide to let you get off more frequently to prevent “accidents.” She could, if she wishes, give you a hand job once a week or once every ten days. That way you will remain dry when she uses you for penetration.

It isn’t her job to have to either compromise what she wants or give up enforced chastity. It is her role to control you. She should get everything she wants sexually, even if it means you orgasm frequently. That’s why if you both see sexual control as you avoiding ejaculating inside her, then she should be sure you ejaculate frequently enough outside her vagina to assure you perform as she wishes when she wants penetration. You, of course, remain in your chastity device until she needs your services.

Male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and FLR with discipline. Locked since 1/2014. FLR 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

What do you think?