Month: July 2016

Lion and I have been suffering from the same tummy issue for days. We haven’t always eaten the same thing so we’re thinking it’s some sort of virus. As a result, we didn’t play last night. We did snuggle and Lion said he wanted to get hard but it wasn’t happening. That (I’m hoping) means tonight is the grand finale of his all-you-can-come buffet.

It’s just a coincidence that his buffet is ending the night before he starts his new job. I had no premonition of that being the case when I suggested the idea. At that point we were still hopeful that he’d get the job. I wish I could say I had a hand in that happening. If that were the case, we’d have the winning Powerball ticket instead of someone in New Hampshire.

Today being Lion’s last day of “freedom”, we have some work to do around the house. Laundry will move to being a weekend chore again. Most things will move to weekend chores. We have no idea what his work hours will be, but with both of us working, dinner will be later and that will make everything else later. We’ll have to see how it shakes out for play. And will Lion even want play right away? These are things we have to play by ear for a while.

Lion’s first business trip is Wednesday which means he has to be wild. That’s no big deal. He’s been wild for over a week so far. I was going to leave him wild for his first week of work anyway. I wanted to give him the opportunity of sizing up the bathroom situation. Why make it more difficult for him to pee? And, of course, a plane trip would have to be sans cage. I just want Lion to be as comfortable as possible.

Life has been intruding on our sex life a lot in the past few months. That doesn’t mean we’ve drifted apart. We still hold hands and snuggle. We still love each other as much. We just haven’t been playing. I’m sure this has been boring to read about. Nothing flashy. Nothing exciting. But sometimes that’s how life is. For better or worse; in sickness and in health. In the near future, I predict that Lion will be happily back in his cage and we’ll be playing again. In the meantime, we’re happy being together and that’s more than many people can say.

My recent posts have stimulated a very interesting discussion. One part of it is about how we males change in relation to when we had our last orgasm. There is no question in my mind that these reactions vary widely based on both our individual hormonal makeup and our age. One thing that everyone seems to agree to is that we do feel differently before we come and once we finally ejaculate. Most of the enforced chastity fantasies are based, at least in part, on these changes.

Let’s agree that there are physiological and psychological changes brought on by the level of male sexual desire. I suggest that the most graphic example of this is before and after ejaculation. But it isn’t that simple. I go through periods when I’m just not horny. At those times I just don’t care about sex. Other times I am tree-humping horny. This happens even if there hasn’t been an orgasm in days.

In my case, my interest in another orgasm is vastly diminished for a day or two after I come. That doesn’t mean I would turn a chance to come down. It’s just that I am perfectly happy not to have sex. My interest in coming grows as time goes by. It peaks on the fifth or sixth day. It starts fading again after a couple of weeks. That’s my cycle. I’m sure that other guys experience stronger changes. But that’s not the point.

The fantasies say that a guy’s interest in being loving and pleasing his partner also changes after he gets to ejaculate. I can understand that. One very nice motivation to give the keyholder lots of great orgasms comes from the sexual excitement the guy gets by providing this pleasure. I love the taste, feel and smell of a woman I am stimulating. If I happen to want an orgasm myself, the fun is amplified.

So, from that perspective it’s true that a horny guy will be more enthusiastic about giving his partner sexual pleasure. That doesn’t mean, at least in my case, that if I’m not horny I will try to avoid providing sexual service. It’s amazing fun whether or not I want sex. Will my partner notice the difference? Probably. Will she care as long as she knows I am having fun? I don’t think so.

The most serious accusation the fantasies level at guys is that we are less loving and caring if we aren’t horny. Think about that. Is the main reason we are with our partners that they can get us off? Is it really true that if we masturbate, we remove that reason and then become more distant and less loving?

I absolutely disagree. I love sex with Mrs. Lion. I crave her touch. But even if we don’t ever have sex again, I don’t care. I love her with all my heart. I want to hold her hand, hug her, and kiss her. I would love to spend all my time with her. I feel this way when I’m horny and that doesn’t change after I come.

The reasons the fantasies say the opposite is that they objectify us into sex driven creatures who are incapable of action that isn’t driven by our cocks. That’s silly, but it’s also hot. A lot of guys love to imagine themselves in that situation. They get turned on thinking of themselves reduced to this primal state. I find it hot too.

But there is no way I try to make my life into that simplistic fantasy. It might be hot to think of oneself as a human vibrator, but the reality is that if you want to live a FLR or enforced chastity lifestyle, you need to accept a more complex reality; a reality that starts and ends with a loving relationship.

Lion has been counting down the days until his new job starts. I have been counting down the days until his all-you-can-come buffet ends. At this point, if he receives an orgasm tonight, he won’t go out with a bang, so to speak, on his final day. That doesn’t seem fair. What to do. What to do.

It doesn’t seem likely that he’ll want an orgasm tonight and tomorrow night. He doesn’t have such a quick turnaround anymore. In fact, there was only one time (if my memory serves me) that he came twice in one night. His turnaround is definitely not that quick now. I do wonder though if I gave him an orgasm this afternoon, would he be ready for tomorrow night? Could six or seven hours be the difference?

It’s likely we won’t find out. It’s already afternoon as I write this. And we have errands to run, as well as the odd job that pops up along the way. I suppose I could go attack him once I finish writing. Just as an experiment, you see. But I think it’s more likely that he’ll either not get an orgasm tonight so tomorrow night can be the fireworks, or possibly tonight will be the fireworks and tomorrow will be a down night. It’s for me to decide in the next ten hours or so.

I bet Lion doesn’t have a preference. Even if I ask him he’ll say it’s up to me. Of course it is, but sometimes I do like to know how he feels about things. This certainly doesn’t have any repercussions. Either way he’ll have an orgasm and be happy. He’ll start his new job either with a fresh orgasm or a day-old orgasm. No horniness to distract him from learning the secret handshake of the new job. And that’s really my only interest in having a specific time frame to give him this last orgasm. I want him to be happy and relaxed. It definitely won’t be his last orgasm ever. Just the last one to send him off to the first day of school. Name and bus number on a piece of paper pinned to his chest. Thermos of hot chicken noodle soup and bologna sandwich in his Batman lunchbox.

OK. That’s going too far, but I’ve never seen him this excited for a job to start. I want him to have the best first day he can have.

My last post talked about male masturbation control and the question of what, if any controls the keyholder/disciplining wife should have on her solo sessions. There was a comment responding to the post that cites a classic male fantasy about masturbation control. Here’s an excerpt from the comment:

Female masturbation is not prohibited as there is no loss of Jing (life essence). I lose no chi or jing when I orgasm. I don’t masturbate, but it wouldn’t matter if I did as it wouldn’t impact the frequency of intimacy I would have with my husband. I can have 18 orgasms and be energized. Whereas the detrimental effects of semen depletion are observable in males.”

Here’s how she handles violations by her husband:

“I bought a shock training collar used to humanely train dogs.”

“The settings go from 1-100 on the remote for the collar. I wanted to do it just as a demonstration, and set it to 1. It delivered a very aversive stimulus. It’s stopped masturbation for the last year and any intentional spills during intercourse.”

Hot stuff? I don’t want to take up too much space, but I have read very close versions of this same story on multiple blogs. If you aren’t actually under orgasm control, this story offers super masturbation fodder. But sadly, it’s just a story. How do I know?

  1. Masturbation is a self-reported “crime.” If the consequence of confession is so dire it will stop masturbation (which he can do in secret with little-to-no risk of discovery), wouldn’t the logical outcome be that he just stop telling her? The only way she could come close to discovering his naughty behavior is to masturbate him to orgasm and measure the semen output. But wait! My semen output varies widely even though I never masturbate. You get the point.
  2. Shock collars are unsafe worn around the neck. The ones intended for large dogs can indeed offer extremely uncomfortable shocks. But none on the market have 100 levels. Also, none generate an uncomfortable shock at the lowest settings. How do I know? We have a small dog collar I sometimes have to wear under my balls. I have a large dog collar we tested and found too powerful. The lowest setting on the big dog collar was barely perceptible. The difference between the 20 settings was too great to get good lion control.
  3. Semen depletion initiates a refractory period. This is the time it takes for the male to “recharge” and be able to orgasm again. It has nothing to do with semen production. The refractory period is, however, triggered when semen is depleted.  That’s why some men can have multiple ruined orgasms until they run out of semen. Many younger men have a refractory period as short as ten minutes. Senior citizens can have them as long as a week or more.
  4. If her partner’s behavior is so boorish if he is sexually sated, why the hell is she with him?

The person who posted the comment cited above (he, among others, calls himself Anonymous. It must have been a popular baby name.) added another comment after I made a brief reply:

“Let me just say that I like your blog because with all the caging, FLR, DD, etc., there always seems to be a real mutual love and caring between you and Mrs. Lion. However, I see other blogs (like the one that I cited) in which I see none of that. Kudos to you guys for showing people how all of this can be done without denigrating, disrespecting, and disregarding your partner.”

That comment was going to be my fifth point. People just can’t live 24/7 with, as he put it, “ denigrating, disrespecting, and disregarding your partner.” Maybe for play sessions the two can take on these roles. But every day, I sure doubt it. I would be surprised if a woman even wrote the various aversion masturbation training posts. I’ve never met a woman that obsessed with male masturbation. And, no one since the mid-nineteenth century has proposed that male masturbation had any systemic effects on the guys who jerk off.

In the cold light of rational, critical reading, it’s obvious how patently ridiculous these stories are. But then if you suspend disbelief…