Monday night was wonderful. It’s been many months since Mrs. Lion rode me. It was amazing. It always is. I spent all day yesterday at home. I am totally sick of this routine. It’s a good thing that I start my new job in just six days. I only have to be home alone two more days. Then, we are off on another weekend trip.
My view of FLR/FLR has matured over the last months. When we started, my thoughts focused on domestic discipline and punishments I would earn. Over time the idea of being punished lost its luster. I don’t fantasize about being spanked. I do my best to avoid those swats. As Mrs. Lion grows into her role, my enthusiasm wanes. Is it natural we seem to be moving in opposite directions.
It’s not that the two of us are moving apart; not at all! I suppose it could be a classic case of “be careful what you wish for.” I don’t think so. I don’t fear my lioness and her authority. I’m just not very excited about it right now. I suspect that I’m just tired. Even though I interviewed for my new job in mid-May, it took until ten days ago to finally let me know I’m hired. The wait has taken a lot out of me. I suppose it is natural to lose enthusiasm about many things under that kind of stress. I still feel the stress even though I know I have the job. I’ve lost my interest in BDSM play as well. I’m not sure what I want. I suppose it’s natural to go through periods like this. I don’t know. It’s not that I’ve lost interest in sex and orgasm. I haven’t. It’s the “other” stuff.
I think Mrs. Lion sensed this. She’s been great about not pushing BDSM play. She’s also been wonderful about keeping up our FLR even if there is no play. I’m very grateful for that.