I was thinking about my last few posts and the reaction they received from some of our readers. I’ve been writing about domestic discipline and my need for strict punishment. The comments and emails have been very polite and well reasoned. The underlying message is, “How can you let someone hurt you like that?”
Of course, this is completely understandable. It’s also interesting to note that this isn’t the first time we have heard this said. Way back when we first started the Journal, we got a large number of comments asking, “How can you let Mrs. Lion control whether or not you get to have an orgasm?” After a while, that kind of comment and email stopped coming. Either the people who found enforced chastity inconceivable left, or some of them came to understand, if not want to practice enforced chastity.
The simple fact is that what we do, or any 24/7 power exchange is extremely rare. Over the decades I have been active in the leather community (BDSM), I’ve run across only a handful of people who practiced lifestyle power exchange. All of them involved master/mistress -slave exchanges. I met only one man who practiced enforced chastity. I never asked him if he did it full time, but when we met he had and Access Denied chastity belt on (I know because he showed me without my asking).
Of the couples I met who got together because they wanted a master/slave relationship, not one remained together after two years. Couples who were together before adopting the power exchange, tended to drop it too, but they remained together. I’m not saying that no one manages to sustain a full-time power exchange for life, but I never knew any.
Let’s face it, almost all chastity devices sold are now living in someone’s sock drawer. A full time power exchange won’t last unless the people involved get substantial, lasting benefits from it. Mrs. Lion and I are no exception. We found that our relationship improved due to our practice of enforced chastity. The change is so beneficial that we won’t stop.
Domestic discipline doesn’t enforce my chastity, nor for that matter, does a chastity device. My chastity is enforced by my knowledge that Mrs. Lion considers any orgasm not provided by her a betrayal of trust. Jerking off may not be quite as serious as having an affair, but it is close. We both take my surrender very seriously.
Our most recent addition is the domestic discipline. It has evolved from some spanking experiments to punishments that are quite serious and very painful. How could I want this? See? The questions I’ve been getting are fair. But maybe it is less of a “want” than it is a “need”. But will it last? We don’t know yet. For it to become a permanent part of our lives, we need to find value. As Mrs. Lion has been getting more serious about punishing me, I’ve been feeling more grounded. Oddly, the more I dread the inevitable spanking when I break a rule, the more settled and loved I feel as well. At this point, Mrs. Lion hasn’t expressed that she finds any particular benefit from being my disciplining wife beyond “pleasing” me. That’s not enough to sustain a lifetime power exchange.
The point is that any full time power exchange is exceeding rare. Both enforced chastity and domestic discipline are inconceivable to the vast majority of people who hear of them. I wonder if after continuing to read the evolution of our foray into domestic discipline, you may decide that it is conceivable, even good for us. Chances are overwhelming that you won’t want to do it yourself. Let’s see how the comments go.