It seems to me that a lot of people believe that the changes they observe in a male when his ability to ejaculate is restricted, are caused by some pretty strange things. The most popular (based on blogs I read) is that males don’t need orgasms very often, if at all. Too many orgasms will cause men to be aggressive, thoughtless, self-centered, and prone to frequent masturbation. Most of the enforced chastity fantasies claim this.
So, apparently we males are a brutish bunch of masturbators if we don’t have strong female (partner) control. It’s our nature. Some bloggers with a bit of scientific background, seek out studies relating to hormones that may either cause or change this behavior. In any case, the popular theory is that ejaculation is not good for male behavior. When a male is prevented from frequent ejaculation via orgasm control like enforced chastity, he becomes docile, thoughtful, and has a strong desire to provide as many orgasms as possible to his keyholder.
Let’s accept the behavioral changes. My behavior has certainly changed in the nearly-three-years I have been under orgasm control. Men and women who write about this subject report positive behavioral changes in the male when ejaculation is controlled and strongly limited.
So, these people say: The reason for the behavioral changes is that ejaculation, when uncontrolled, results in undesirable male behavior. After all, ipso facto, the sole change was restriction of ejaculation. Therefore negative male behavior is related to too much semen loss. Over the centuries there have been numerous ills, from mental illness to feeble mindedness, associated with male ejaculation. The first chastity devices were created in the nineteenth century to prevent boys from masturbating. It was believed that masturbation led to everything from retardation to criminal behavior. It isn’t very surprising that the modern version of this is that frequent ejaculation makes men less desirable mates.
In my opinion, this is no different than the nineteenth century notion that when boys masturbate, they become criminals and idiots. Let me suggest an alternate and much simpler theoryfor why male behavior changes for the better when orgasm control is practiced. It’s actually very obvious. The reason is simply that the male is finally getting something he really wants.
Consider. A guy has had fantasies about female control, perhaps expressed by her control of his sexuality. He’s had these since his little, hairlessfirst started getting hard. Well, maybe not that long ago for some. It was for me. So, he has spent his adult life wanting something he assumed he could never have. In fact, he may have been afraid he would be very unhappy if those particular fantasies came true.
Seem far fetched? It isn’t. There have been a number of studies about what men and women fantasize about. Over 75% of men admitted fantasies of being tied up and helpless. That’s loss of control.
Even though these unrealized fantasies may be far below everyday consciousness, I think there have to be subconscious effects. A logical set of effects would be expressing behavior that might provoke the female to take charge: sexual selfishness, masturbation, and aggression. We know that virtually all enforced chastity andwith domestic discipline is initiated by the male. All, regardless of origin, are consensual. The males want to be controled.
What is the result of him finally getting what he wants? To quote Willie Wonka, “What happened to the man who got everything he ever wanted? He lived happily ever after.”
As an example, in my case I want orgasm control and domestic discipline. I don’t necessarily like either now that I have them. But I have gotten what I wanted. Of course my behavior changed. I’m living happily ever after. I want to share my happiness. I obey my lioness. I accept punishment. I no longer masturbate. I only ejaculate when she wishes. I have to do things like spending days in wet diapers. I don’t like that. But I love the feeling of being controlled that doing these things represent.
My point is that my hormones didn’t change my behavior. I didn’t change because females are superior to men. My changes don’t acknowledge that males aren’t designed to ejaculate except to procreate or that females are meant to have all the orgasms they want. I doubt any of those assumptions are true. What I am positive is true, at least in my case, is that I am finally getting what I have wanted (needed) my entire life. The result: I am happy and my happiness allows my best self to emerge.
If I am fully satisfied with my mate, I wouldn’t look at pornography or feel attracted to other women. It makes no sense. If having my orgasms withheld provides inner peace and satisfaction, why would I cheat or jerk off? So, I think the reason for the very noticeable change in a male’s behavior that enforced chastity provokes has nothing to do with the nature of men and women; nothing at all to do with biology. It is simply due to the fact that he is finally having his dreams come true.
The idea that you should be careful what you wish for because you may actually get it, is bull. You should celebrate that you get what you wish for. Of course the realization isn’t always fun or comfortable. Many times I am sorry that I suggested something. But that doesn’t matter. Being forced to accept these things provide me with the inner satisfaction that makes me a happier and better man. In fact, when Mrs. Lion takes an idea I gave her and makes it even more uncomfortable or painful, I may whine and protest. But for reasons I don’t fully understand, the stricter she gets, the brighter that inner light shines.
“Ipso Fatso” was Archie Bunker’s way of saying ipso facto on the 70’s sitcom “All in the Family.” He is also famous for saying that he never looks at pornography because, “I don’thave a pornograph.”