Decision Making Machine

Yesterday, Lion went out to get a haircut while I stayed home to clean the house for company coming today. We don’t normally have company over and we are very lax when it comes to cleaning, so I had a lot of work to do. I realized that we were nearing lunchtime so I decided to text Lion and have him bring home food. I told him what I wanted and he dutifully brought it to me. Why is this a big deal? Well, ordinarily I would just find something at home to eat or Lion would suggest going back out for lunch. But this time I actually told him what I wanted. Maybe lunch is a little request but that fact that I made the request was huge for me.

Later on, since I had been cleaning all day, Lion suggested going out to eat. I didn’t really want to go out, but I also didn’t really want to cook the meal I had planned. I decided to take Lion’s suggestion and we went out to eat. Again, a small decision, but a decision nonetheless. And when I came out of the shower, I told Lion I’d made another decision. He’d had an orgasm the night before so I wasn’t going to unlock him. Instead, we’d snuggle for a while. No play. No teasing. Just snuggling. And why is that a big deal? Aside from yet another decision (not my strong point, obviously) I let Lion know ahead of time that there would be no play. Sometimes he gets his hopes up and then gets frustrated because we don’t do anything. He’s said if I just tell him we won’t be playing he can handle it much better. Win, win, win.

The point is that I’m trying to grow as a top. Lion’s hope is that I will take the skills I use as a top and transfer them to my work life in the form of standing up for myself. Actually he wants me to transfer them to my whole life. We’ll see how it all shakes out. For now, I’ll settle for being a better top for him.

What do you think?