Getting Her To Say Yes

Sometimes it seems that getting started with enforced chastity is so complicated that it is unlikely that any woman (partner) would have to be crazy to agree to becoming a keyholder. One of our goals when we started this blog, was to provide safe and realistic advice to keyholders as well as their caged males. The problem is that over time as Mrs. Lion and I evolved our practice, the posts covered a much more complex relationship that has evolved over three years.

We do have pages (see the list of links across the top of the browser) intended to help introduce enforced chastity. A lot of people visit them. But just as many start off at one of our posts. I was reminded of this by a comment from Merk:

…All I needed to do was tell my wife I was out of control and she could lock me up. I tried even to be submissive in chastity to ensure her desire to keep me there. It did not work and she felt that edging and teasing was a chore.”

It may be that the issue was the reason Merk wanted to be locked up. He told her he was out of control and needed her help to prevent masturbation. He wrote that in fact, the opposite was true. He was no longer easily aroused. I’m not trying to pick on you Merk. Your comment exposes what I think is a classic error when presenting enforced chastity to a non-kinky wife: presenting your idea as a solution to a problem.

The first point you made to her was that you had a sexual problem. You were too horny and subject to frequent masturbation. The reality was that your libido was declining. She may not have felt that helping you master your overactive libido made much sense to her. She tried it, apparently, because you asked her. Eventually she stopped because it became a chore to her.

My suggestion is to keep things simple. If you can discuss that you are having issues getting hard and feeling aroused and that when she edged you, some of that excitement returned. She may be willing to continue edging you on a regular basis as a way of making you happy. If you avoid making it a transaction, (i.e.: You do that for me and I do this for you) she only has to make one decision: will I edge him to make him happy.

Having her lock you in a chastity device is a different simple discussion. The bottom line is that you want to be locked up because the idea turns you on. If you start with you calling the shots as to when you are locked and when she lets you out, there is very little effort required on her part. If you want to set it up that you get an orgasm when unlocked, then consider how you want her to handle this. Do you want to have intercourse? Do you want her to give you a handjob? Or, should she just unlock you so you can masturbate. Maybe she could make that decision.

As I see it, the less complex the request is, the more likely it will be accepted. Start with one thing. give it a chance to take root. Then suggest the next step.

What do you think?