By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion votes for daily teasing and/or play. He likes the attention. For now I’ll oblige him. The only times I usually take a day off is when one of us is tired or not feeling well, or if it’s the day after an orgasm. I figure Lion can’t possibly be horny enough for teasing the day after an orgasm. (I know that’s baloney. He’s just a horny boy.)

Even though last night started out badly (Lion was stuck in traffic for over an hour longer than normal), we did manage to do some snuggling and some teasing. Poor Lion was dripping pre-cum afterwards. How long can I make him wait? His scheduled date is tomorrow. Should I make him wait longer? I know most caged males wait far longer than Lion does. Our brand of enforced chastity doesn’t normally include long waits. Of course, Lion thinks any wait longer than three days is an eternity when he’s tree-humping horny as he is now. And I’m more likely to give Lion extra, or bonus, orgasms well before his scheduled date. What can I say? I love to make Lion come.

Right now I’m having fun torturing him by stopping just short of an orgasm. It’s funny when he grumbles about how horny he is. But it’s also true that I wish I could let him come. I know. I make the rules. I can make him come whenever I want to, but sometimes he should wait. He’s gotten a lot of bonus orgasms lately. He should at least make it to one of his scheduled dates. And he really hasn’t even made it all the way to this one because I’ve given him a few extras along the way. Actually he should have to wait until the next scheduled date. I just don’t think either of us wants him to wait that long. There’s really no point. As long as I’m the one deciding when he has his orgasm we’re fine.

So, unless I miss the mark tonight, Lion will wait at least until tomorrow. How much longer he waits is just icing on the cake. I like icing. I also like creme filling, which is why he rarely has to wait long for an orgasm.

By:
In: Keyholder, Lion's Journal

Sometimes it seems that getting started with enforced chastity is so complicated that it is unlikely that any woman (partner) would have to be crazy to agree to becoming a keyholder. One of our goals when we started this blog, was to provide safe and realistic advice to keyholders as well as their caged males. The problem is that over time as Mrs. Lion and I evolved our practice, the posts covered a much more complex relationship that has evolved over three years.

We do have pages (see the list of links across the top of the browser) intended to help introduce enforced chastity. A lot of people visit them. But just as many start off at one of our posts. I was reminded of this by a comment from Merk:

“…All I needed to do was tell my wife I was out of control and she could lock me up. I tried even to be submissive in chastity to ensure her desire to keep me there. It did not work and she felt that edging and teasing was a chore.”

It may be that the issue was the reason Merk wanted to be locked up. He told her he was out of control and needed her help to prevent masturbation. He wrote that in fact, the opposite was true. He was no longer easily aroused. I’m not trying to pick on you Merk. Your comment exposes what I think is a classic error when presenting enforced chastity to a non-kinky wife: presenting your idea as a solution to a problem.

The first point you made to her was that you had a sexual problem. You were too horny and subject to frequent masturbation. The reality was that your libido was declining. She may not have felt that helping you master your overactive libido made much sense to her. She tried it, apparently, because you asked her. Eventually she stopped because it became a chore to her.

My suggestion is to keep things simple. If you can discuss that you are having issues getting hard and feeling aroused and that when she edged you, some of that excitement returned. She may be willing to continue edging you on a regular basis as a way of making you happy. If you avoid making it a transaction, (i.e.: You do that for me and I do this for you) she only has to make one decision: will I edge him to make him happy.

Having her lock you in a chastity device is a different simple discussion. The bottom line is that you want to be locked up because the idea turns you on. If you start with you calling the shots as to when you are locked and when she lets you out, there is very little effort required on her part. If you want to set it up that you get an orgasm when unlocked, then consider how you want her to handle this. Do you want to have intercourse? Do you want her to give you a handjob? Or, should she just unlock you so you can masturbate. Maybe she could make that decision.

As I see it, the less complex the request is, the more likely it will be accepted. Start with one thing. give it a chance to take root. Then suggest the next step.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

In the past, Lion has said we play too often. He doesn’t necessarily want clothespins or Velcro every night. On the one hand, he’s got a point. On the other hand, he doesn’t make the decisions. To some extent I do agree that for a span of time I was BDSM-ing him to death. To me, since we started playing all those years ago, BDSM and sex go hand in hand. I realize they don’t have to. And I know in some states, sex and BDSM can’t go hand in hand. It’s illegal. But our play sessions have always had happy endings. Until enforced chastity, that is.

As you know, Lion has been incredibly horny lately. Along the same lines as not playing every night, I’m wondering if I have to tease him every night to keep him interested. I really want him to be as horny as possible for as long as possible. Well, not as long as possible. Just until I decide I want to give him an orgasm. I’m not trying for any long term wait. I just want the heightened anticipation to last for a while. If I don’t play with him tonight, for example, will the need subside even slightly?

I like the idea of his being ready to go right out of the gate. I mean, right now, if I touch him Mr. Weenie springs to life immediately. He’s raring to go. Within a few minutes he’s bucking into my hand. I got him so close last night I thought he was going to cry. I like that. Even if I’ve told him there’s no way he’s coming, I want him to think I’ve changed my mind right up until the point that I stop; because he should never know if I’ve changed my mind until the point that I don’t stop.

Anyway, I’m just wondering if I’ll upset the apple cart by not teasing him for one night. Or even if I unlock him and tease him, but not right to the edge. Will that little break make him less horny? I was even thinking last night that I could find the nJoy butt plug and give him some anal action instead. Decisions, decisions. I guess I’ll stay the course for now. I really want a desperate Lion.

By:
In: Chastity hardware, Lion's Journal

I admit that I wasn’t very happy when I went back into the chastity device. It’s not that it causes any big problems. It’s just that I liked being wild. Now that I am locked up again, I’m feeling fine about my confinement. It would sound more dramatic if I claim I have a love-hate relationship with wearing a chastity device. I don’t. I understand why I wear it and I like the effect it has on our relationship. Yes, I’m aware that the device isn’t responsible for the changes we have made. I’m also pretty sure that even if I were permanently wild, the changes would stick.

I do wonder about some of the other stuff we do. Orgasm control is definitely something I can both love and hate. Most of the time I like the sexual tension I feel. I like the suspense of waiting until Mrs. Lion decides to let me get release. I hate the way it feels when I am at the point where I will do anything for that orgasm and all the action stops and I am locked away again. Maybe I don’t hate that. That’s not the right word. Ok, I like it in a perverse way.

After all, I spent many years thinking about enforced chastity. Most of the thinking was arousal at the idea my partner could control me that completely. Sexual helplessness is a hot fantasy. The reality doesn’t disappoint. I’m very lucky that Mrs. Lion is so skilled at teasing me. I’m sure she never imagined that she would become an expert cock tease.

So much of what we do is way off the scale of how we saw our lives only a few, short years ago. Virtually all of it can’t be shared with family and friends. As you probably know, I love to have adventures and try new things. I’m super lucky that Mrs. Lion is willing to indulge me long enough to decide if my latest idea works for us. One of my most bizarre suggestions was for Mrs. Lion to lock up my cock and sharply restrict ejaculations.

She was sure I would get tired of this kink and we would drop it after a few weeks (maybe days). The fact I was still happy with it after a few months surprised us both. Before the first year in enforced chastity ended, we were both convinced this practice improved our relationship and was going to continue indefinitely. We are much closer now than we have ever been before. We are a very happy couple.

There’s absolutely no way I ever imagined this outcome. All this goodness notwithstanding, there are plenty of times I am unhappy with the cage. Ironically, my frustration is never about being prevented from ejaculating. It’s usually because peeing is inconvenient or I get a stray pinch from the cage. I truly enjoyed my weeks of freedom. I am also happy to be locked up again. Make up your mind, Lion!