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In: Mrs Lion Comments

Last night Lion warned me that he was very horny and I needed to be careful. I asked why. He reasoned that I may go too far in edging him. That may be true but he should be careful too. I know he’s not trained to resist orgasms, but he can tell me when he’s close. Although, he’s told me in the past he doesn’t always know it’s happening until it’s too late. And I’ve never put the onus on him to warn me. I’ve always just watched for signals. But should I give him the responsibility to warn me as well?

I think it might be true that sometimes there is no warning. It just happens and we either wind up with a ruined orgasm or, in a few cases, a full orgasm. I’d estimate in at least 90% of edgings, Lion knows exactly what’s happening. I think I can see it coming, so to speak, in around 95%. Sometimes I can tell when Lion can’t because he’s floating somewhere otherworldly. But here’s the thing; should he have to warn me? Am I not trying to give him the illusion that we’re going all the way this time? If I make him conscious of things, then he can’t enjoy the ride. I think I’d rather keep the responsibility of stopping in time for myself.

All I want Lion to do is concentrate on heading toward the light, or scoring the winning touchdown, or whatever guys think about when they’re on the way to an orgasm. He should be thinking this is the it! This is the time! Just a few more strokes. Right there. That’s the spot. And then it’s up to me to get him there or stop short and dash his dreams. I know some women like to train their man to be able to stop. I’ve thought about it. I don’t think I want to put in the hard work that’s involved. Plus, I like to surprise Lion with impromptu orgasms. I think it would lose some spontaneity if I need to tell him not to stop himself. It’s much more rewarding to hear him say, “Don’t stop!”

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

“Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down…” This famoust line from a song in “Mary Poppins” cheerfully articulates one of the key principles in human motivation. It’s easy to get someone who is motivated to do something. Almost everything I’ve been writing about for the last three years is just that: a spoonful of sugar.

There’s a motivational principle called Gamification: the application of typical elements of game playing (e.g., point scoring, competition with others, rules of play) to other areas of activity, typically as an online marketing technique to encourage engagement with a product or service. Enforced chastity and in our case, female led relationship are examples of gamificating (did I make up that word?) female sexual and social control.

I’m not suggesting that Mrs. Lion created a plan to gamify me into submission. Nor did I consciously seek to tip the balance in our relationship. But tip it, I did. Let’s look at enforced chastity, at least our version of it. It began with me getting aroused thinking about Mrs. Lion locking up my penis and controlling when I could ejaculate. The fantasies turned me on. I love the bondage aspect. I also realized that we weren’t interacting sexually very often. We were both avoiding sex.

I figured that if Mrs. Lion locked my penis in a chastity device, she would necessarily have to engage sexually since she was my only source of release. So I did have an ulterior motive. We fell into a routine of tease and deny with an occasional orgasm thrown in.  Wearing the device year after year, was inconvenient and sometimes uncomfortable. But I loved the game of arousal, edging and ultimately, ejaculation. Mrs. Lion came to enjoy her part in it too.

As I look back at it, enforced chastity gamified sex for us. The chastity device is an essential part of the game for me. What is being gamified? The bottom line I think, is sexual submission. While we have fun with the device and teasing, we have both been conditioned to Mrs. Lion controlling my sexual pleasure. Even though we are having a lot of fun doing it, she has full control. We’ve been doing it too long for that to change, even if we stop using the device.

What about our female led relationship with domestic discipline? I admit that I have a conscious motive for starting it. I want Mrs. Lion to become more active in our marriage. I also want to learn to become less assertive. I suggested something I fantasized about: being punished for breaking rules.

When we discussed this initially, Mrs. Lion expressed no interest in being in charge. But she was willing to make and enforce rules. She chose spanking as her punishment of choice. The rules she created are difficult for me to follow; things like not spilling food on my clothes. I’m bound to do that no matter how hard I try to be neat. There are other rules like not interrupting which serve to help condition me not to be so assertive.

This is a spanking game, except the spankings are serious punishment. People have questioned why we would do this: attach real punishment to seemingly-trivial infractions. We are gamifying domestic discipline. It’s starting to take hold. Mrs. Lion enjoys catching me breaking a rule. I don’t think she enjoys spanking me, but she does enjoy finding infractions.

Each time she notes an infraction and then punishes me, she is reinforcing her position of disciplining wife. She’s also starting to make more decisions for us. Her language is subtly getting more dominant too. Recently, we discussed our progress and decided we weren’t ready to push things further. That, in itself, is a big change for Mrs. Lion. I’ve been suggesting that I should ask permission more often. I’ve wanted her to take the lead in other areas as well.

She decided it was too much. So, when we discussed our progress, she let me know that we would move at her pace. She did agree to continue enforcing her rules more strictly. She led that conversation.

I suspect that our experience isn’t unique. In our case, that spoonful of sugar is a cage on my penis and a sore, red bottom.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Part of the reason I find it funny when Lion spills food on himself is the look on his face and his silliness in trying to hide the stain. Another part of it is that I feel like I won a point in a game. It’s not because I want to whomp him. It’s similar to the training collar. The look on his face is priceless. He’s so surprised. He could be looking straight at me and know I’m pushing the button and he’ll jump. So far, both just amuse me.

I’m not sure I’ve ever used the training collar for punishment. When we’re out and about, I’m usually the one driving. I can’t mess around with the phone to zap him. And if he’s driving, I wouldn’t want to zap him. When we’re in a store, I’m usually pushing the cart. I don’t really have a free hand for the phone. As far as being able to zap him as the infraction occurs is concerned, there are still obstacles even with the phone app. That’s not to say I won’t figure it out in the future. I just haven’t yet.

Last night we still got a late start on playing. Dinner was delayed which delayed my shower. When I came out of the shower I reminded Lion he hadn’t written a post yet so he went off to do that. It was almost 9 by the time he got his punishment swats. Luckily, almost as soon as I tied up his balls, he was hard. Very hard. Like a horny Lion should be. I did a very good job of edging him, if I do say so myself. He was complaining afterwards because he was dripping pre-cum.

While I edged him, I hatched a little plan. I want to make him wait for an orgasm until we are away on our trip. I think that would make his wait somewhere around fifteen days. That’s not outrageous, but it is one of the longest waits he’s ever had. Right now, the biggest obstacle to that goal is me. I’m the one who gives in. He may want an orgasm very badly, but he can’t do anything about it. I can do something about it and I frequently do even when he hasn’t been waiting long. And, of course, the hornier he gets, the more I want to give him an orgasm. It’s definitely a struggle for me.

I would keep my hands to myself but he needs the attention. And we all know, my hands aren’t the only problem. My mouth gets Lion into trouble too. This will definitely test our willpower.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

Last night both of us were itching. In my case it is probably the dog. She’s off for a bath today, which will make things better for me. I’m not sure why Mrs. Lion was scratching too. In any case, she took mercy on me and let me stay wild. Dealing with the men’s room was far easier with the cage off. It’s no shock that life without a chastity device is much simpler. I enjoyed my brief freedom.

Last night I almost made it past a punishment day without anything on my list. Dinner was my downfall. I got some stir fry on my shirt. Oh well. Mrs. Lion looked way too happy when she saw the evidence of my infraction. I won’t comment further other than to say that I wasn’t happy about it at all.

Even though domestic discipline and for that matter, enforced chastity are integral parts of our lives, there’s nothing wrong with Mrs. Lion having fun in her role as disciplining wife. It seems to me that other wives find amusement at the predicaments that their husbands create for themselves. After all, if you like eating food that’s good for you, so much the better. Like it or not, you eat your broccoli. It’s good for you.

That’s a good analogy for our female led relationship. Mrs. Lion didn’t love the broccoli at first, but she ate it anyway. Over time, she found recipes that actually tasted good. Now she likes it. Ok, I admit it. While there are times when I truly hate what happens to me, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

It seems odd to me that even though I hate being spanked and constantly wearing a chastity device can be tiring, I am very happy. Don’t get me wrong. When Mrs. Lion gets out a paddle and tells me to roll over, I want to get as far away as I can. But all I do is groan a bit, roll over, and bury my face in a pillow. When I am driving to work and my cage works itself into a position that pinches, I imagine using my emergency key to relieve the discomfort. But I don’t. I know that enforced chastity changed our physical relationship.

As Mrs. Lion gets more and more enjoyment out of her role, I become more aware of mine. Her pleasure signals me that what we are doing isn’t just because I want it. Mrs. Lion is learning to like broccoli.