If you’ve been reading along for the past week or so, you know I’ve mentioned jump starting my libido. Lion insists I have a libido. It’s just a woman’s libido. A man’s is much different. Men, he says, are programmed to look for sex to carry on the bloodline. I suppose that’s true, but does that mean that women are just supposed to lie there and accept it? I know that’s not what he meant. I’m just playing devil’s advocate.
Lion wonders why I think I have no libido. He says I can have orgasms when I want them. Yes. I’ve always said the mechanical parts still work. If Lion gives me attention, I can rattle off quite a few orgasms. I was defining no libido as not particularly wanting sex, or not being horny. Merriam-Webster says:
Full Definition of libido
1: instinctual psychic energy that in psychoanalytic theory is derived from primitive biological urges (as for sexual pleasure or self-preservation) and that is expressed in conscious activity
2: sexual drive
So if I don’t care if I have sex, it’s different from not being able to have sex. The latter might be a physiological condition. The former, I think, might be all in my head. As part of jump starting things, I’ve decided it shouldn’t matter if I want an orgasm or not. That is to say, if I am horny or not. I should have orgasms because it might lead to actually wanting them in the future. Now, if Lion is right and women are just wired differently, it may not matter. My horny days might be over. That doesn’t mean I can’t have orgasms. I just won’t necessarily ask for them.
Lion loves giving me orgasms and I love getting them, but if I don’t ask for them and Lion isn’t so good at initiating, it’s not likely I’ll get them. That’s been the problem for quite a while. If we go through the exercise of my having orgasms and things never actually get jump started, I guess I’ll just have to continue to have them without wanting them. For the record, I’m not suggesting that Lion force himself on me. If my libido remains AWOL then we should continue on with the experiment to see if anything happens eventually.
Having said all this, last night was our first night of the experiment. Lion gave me at least three orgasms. I lost track. My mind was otherwise occupied. It took him a while to get me going. It’s difficult to start a cold engine. But Lion knows what he’s doing. After I rejoined planet earth, it was Lion’s turn for fun. For whatever reason, it took a while to get his engine started too. I finally got him to the edge. Then, as I had him in a vacuum lock, I decided to make him come.
I know, I know. 51. Poor Lion. How does he survive with so many orgasms? I said I was going to make him wait and then I give him even more that I did before. Boo hoo hoo. That’s what happens when you put me in charge. I do what I want.