Last night we went out to dinner. After we ordered we were both looking at our phones. I happened to swipe to the page with the training collar app on it. Uh oh. Lion forgot his training collar. I asked if he forgot something. He had no idea. I showed him the phone, searching in vain for the collar. He said he meant to wear it. Oops! Trouble for Lion. Then I noticed the empty plate where pickles used to be. I told him he forgot something else and pointed out the plate. He said I rarely eat pickles so he thought he could eat them. Of course, that wasn’t the issue. I didn’t want pickles. I wanted him to ask before he ate them. He should never eat before I do unless he has permission. And he didn’t have permission. More trouble for Lion.
On the way to the restaurant, Lion suggested I use a strap to punish him. We have several. I reminded him of a long, thin piece of rubber he bought. He agreed that hurt a lot. Our spare room is a giant catch-all. Everything without a home finds a home in there. I went searching for the long rubber strop, but came up with it’s shorter, wider cousin. Both made of rubber. Both nasty. When we first got them it smelled like a tire shop in the bedroom. It took a long time for them to off gas. Now they no longer stink, but they still have their nastiness.
One hard swat was enough to make Lion scream. The second one almost launched him off the bed. I waited a few seconds for the next swats and then I discovered that one swat, right in the middle, was a good way to go. I didn’t count swats, but they were hard and nasty. When I was done, Lion said he felt welts. I only saw one, but it was dark with blood. I was sure he’d have a bruise. This morning it looks like I never touched him. Darn tough Lion hide! But I guess the bruise isn’t the most important thing. I wonder if Lion will remember his training collar when we go out later?
[Lion — It still hurts when I sit a certain way. You can read my perspective tomorrow morning.]