A few weeks ago, I discovered a blog that has made a real change in my life. The blogger has been a disciplining wife for some time. The blog is Wife’s In Charge. It focuses primarily on the physical punishments the blogger administers and most recently, received.
If you’ve been reading here for a while, you know that I have an interest in spanking. When I asked Mrs. Lion to take charge, she chose spanking as the way she would punish me. It started with rather mild spankings and wasn’t very effective as a way to absolve me of guilt or to modify my behavior. Over time, the spankings have become more severe, but there was still something missing. Enter the bloggers.
Dianne, writer of Wife’s In Charge, wrote a post about punishing her husband (You can read it here). I was turned on reading her account, but I was also a little suspicious because of her reference to panties and precum. Still, it was very clear that Dianne knew her subject. The next few posts followed over a short time. This is the order I read them: First, Second, Third, Fourth, and the most recent post from the other day.
I have a great deal in common with Dianne’s husband, Bob. I commented that her focus on spanking as true punishment was new to me. Here’s what she wrote in response:
“That is very interesting and your right I do have a very deep seeded belief that spanking is for punishment for bad behavior. And also it’s a tool to correct that behavior. This does come from being spanked while growing up by my mom. Like you, Bob was not spanked growing up except for a few paddlings he got in school. But never from his mom and dad. So not getting them and hearing about or knowing his friends got them instilled a curiosity in him. That curiosity of what it would be like eventually turned into a sexual trigger for him as he got older especially hearing from his friend Dee in detail her spanking from her mom. Anyway what I’m trying to say is that spanking became sexual for Bob to where for me my view of spanking was always a punishment.
“So with that said I couldn’t understand why anyone would want a spanking or definitely couldn’t understand what was exciting about it.
“But after understanding Bob’s needs I began to see the benefit a good spanking could provide as far as atoning for things and releasing feelings of guilt. Really it was the same thing when I got them growing up it’s just as an adult now I see things more clearly.”
There’s no question that the idea of being spanked is very hot for me. Sometimes I am hard when Mrs. Lion begins. The erection doesn’t last long. Bob and I are very much alike. Maybe Dianne is a good role model for Mrs. Lion.
The biggest revelation I got from Dianne’s writing seems obvious when I mention it, but neither Mrs. Lion nor I really understood it: Spanking is supposed to be painful; very painful. The entire point of a spanking is to inflict as much pain as possible without permanent damage to the spankee. I can hear you muttering, “Duh!” Well, we really didn’t consider it. In fact, Mrs. Lion tried to find implements that would inflict pain I could handle. In other words, sensation that wouldn’t hurt so much I would object.
I told Mrs. Lion about this insight. She thought about it and agreed. My next spanking was all about hurting me as much as possible. It’s true that Mrs. Lion stops before it gets to the point I might cry. Since she has no experience as a disciplinarian, she is sensibly feeling her way gradually. I’m sure that each spanking will be more painful until we both feel that it is effective as an appropriate punishment for me.
The very fact that I am writing that the spanking needs to go further is a good sign I need more intensity. If the pain rises to the point I absolutely want to avoid it, you can bet your bottom dollar that I won’t be writing about intensity here!
That brings me to another important point that Dianne brought to the front of my mind: self reporting. I owe it to Mrs. Lion and myself to advise Mrs. Lion when I’ve broken a rule. True, it would help if she asks me to tell her if I’ve done something wrong. But if she doesn’t, I’m being dishonest if I fail to tell her. Dishonesty is something that certainly deserves strict retribution.
This most recent flurry of posts about spanking is, I think, a sign of growth in our female led relationship. We may be ready to move to a higher level. Dianne’s marriage is a good role model for us. I’m very happy to have found her blog. I’m hoping she will teach both of us how to grow in our disciplinary relationship.