As Anonymous said in his comment yesterday, I’m an excellent engineer of my own demise. I guess I am. It’s good to know I do quality work. It may seem odd to some that I work so hard to make things more difficult or painful for myself. Mrs. Lion shakes her head at this. It isn’t that I can’t help myself, as she says. I truly want to help her perfect her lion taming skills.
Let’s face it, I asked for her to lead the relationship. I asked her to lock me in a chastity device. And I taught her how to spank me. I know that the fantasy is that she would initiate all this on her own and that I would be her hapless victim. That’s pure fantasy. All this stuff isn’t just consensual, it’s male initiated.
Just what did I ask for? Don’t say I asked for a female led relationship with domestic discipline and enforced chastity. That’s like going to a bar on Skid Row and asking for a Sex On the Beach cocktail. The bartender may be willing to make it but chances are very good he doesn’t know how. This was exactly the case with Mrs. Lion.
I wanted her to sexually dominate me and do all the stuff that goes with enforced chastity and domestic discipline. It can’t be a surprise that she had no real idea how to do that. Luckily, she was willing to try. She already had a good idea about spanking me. We had done that on and off for years as part of our play. She never considered enforced chastity. So I had to help. It isn’t enough to give her the Big Book of Lion Taming. Well there isn’t such a book. But even if there were it wouldn’t explain what works and doesn’t work with me.
You shouldn’t be surprised that I let Mrs. Lion know how I think things could work for us in terms of our power exchange. It was all my idea in the first place. I asked for my own demise. I want her power to be real. I want her to punish me effectively. It’s part of what I requested.
So, shouldn’t I let her know what I would hate for punishment? Yes, it may mean I will get it and maybe hate it. If I don’t, it’s up to me to help her find ways to make me more miserable. That doesn’t mean I’m a masochist wanting her to hurt me. I’m not. I just want her to be able to effectively use the power I gave her.
That’s what demise engineering is all about. It’s the practice of developing effective tools for power exchange. It takes a lot more than someone willing to take control and her willing victim. It takes practical knowledge of how to effectively own and control him. The best reviewer of effectiveness is the demise engineer. He is also the best source of ideas that might take him down more easily. This process is necessary for effective domination.
I think the biggest myth about power exchange is that all the bottom has to do is surrender. The top needs at least as much training as the bottom. Without some solid demise engineering, both the top and bottom will grow frustrated. Success at FLR, domestic discipline, and enforced chastity requires a healthy amount of demise engineering.
Get to work guys. it’s your job to be your own demise engineer.