Lion’s butt is still a little bruised. I found a fading round one where the last paddle whomped him the other night. He still has remnants of the bruises from Thursday night too. Perhaps I have cracked the code of bruising that tough Lion hide.
One thing I didn’t mention the other night, after his punishment, Lion stayed with his face buried in the pillows. When he finally allowed his face to be seen, he seemed mad at me. I wasn’t prepared for that. I tried touching him to reassure him, but he just glared at me. I’m not sure why I didn’t realize he might be mad after a spanking. Little kids aren’t exactly happy with whoever spanked them. Even if this is what Lion wants, it could still affect him the same way.
Neither of us mentioned it until I read Lion’s post. In it he admitted to being angry. I said I thought he was. Then I asked if he was mad at himself for getting in trouble, me for swatting him, or at the punishment itself. It turns out he wasn’t really sure at the time, but after some thought decided it was a combination. Of course he had created the problem by having an infraction. Of course I had administered it. Of course the punishment really hurt. Then he said he’d step back into a role he didn’t really want to step back into, and he told me the first stage of dealing with punishment would be anger, then tears, then wanting to snuggle. I’d gotten him almost to tears. He wasn’t sure, but I might have actually gotten him to the beginning of tears.
If I thought bruising him affected me, making him angry certainly did. I don’t know what I would have done if he’d been crying. I’d have some thinking to do. I’ve just gotten to a point where I can effectively punish him and now I hit this wall. At least now that I know it’s there I can attempt to get past it. In the meantime, will I hit just a little softer so I don’t make him mad? Or will I go all out to try to get him to the snuggling stage? I don’t know. I’m not exactly looking forward to the next punishment any more than Lion is.
[Lion — I am concerned about Mrs. Lion’s reaction. Perhaps I didn’t explain completely enough. The feelings that go along with a spanking have nothing to do with my feelings toward her. I am angry, not at her or, for that matter, myself. I am angry at the pain. I think my reaction scared her. That’s really too bad. What she was doing to me was exactly right. She shouldn’t care how I am reacting. She knows that she can’t really injure me. There is no physical danger to me in what she did. My reaction to any spanking will vary. The variance has nothing to do with the spanking itself. It is an internal thing that isn’t indicative of anything beyond a visceral reaction to the beating.
Based on my decades at the other side of the paddle, I would suggest that Mrs. Lion did exactly what I needed. If she had brought me to tears, that would be something to be happy about. The anger guards the tears. Working through that and getting those tears to flow is cathartic for me. Men, particularly me, don’t easily cry. The reason people get snuggly and submissive after a cry is that the bad feelings have been released.
I’m not saying I want to be made to cry. I guess I am too macho for that. What I am saying is that if it happens, it could end up being really good for me. In any case, that fateful second spanking affected me deeply in a very positive way. For the very first time I felt that I had no control. I wanted that spanking to stop, but it didn’t. All I could do is try to hold still and wait until she finished. That’s where I have wanted her to go. It was effective domestic discipline. I am serious when I say that I hope this is what will happen each time I need correction. It absolutely worked and I am no worse for the wear. For those who have commented that this level of severity affects our relationship; it does. We are closer together than ever. This may not be for everyone, but FLR and domestic discipline work for me. ]