Many people who write about their enforced chastity experiences claim that the male changes noticeably when caged and/or under orgasm control. I’ve written about how ejaculation isn’t necessarily my objective during sex. That change was brought on by enforced chastity. I’ve learned not to expect to ejaculate each time I am stimulated. It’s no longer my objective.
Other people make different claims. One reader commented that his wife noticed changes in him:
“I asked her what the benefits were to her and she said:
- You listen to me more and pay me more attention
- You are more loving and tactile – more hugs and kisses
- The house is tidier as you do more things
- I feel desired and adored
- We have sex more often
- We have less arguments and disagreements
- You seem happier and less stressed – and I know now that if you do seem grumpy or stressed that a good spanking helps alleviate that.
- Generally I feel happier and there is more romance in our everyday life.”
It’s a very positive list. I wonder how many of those changes apply to me as well. Mrs. Lion has always been rather cagey about attributing any changes I may have made to being caged. She has, on the other hand, been very clear that spanking me severely for breaking a rule puts me on my best behavior. Does it mean that domestic discipline is the only change that makes my behavior toward Mrs. Lion improve?
The reason I bring all this up is that I honestly didn’t notice that my behavior changed after my punishment over a week ago. That’s not entirely true. I am aware I carefully check that Mrs. Lion has begun eating before I dig in. Otherwise I haven’t noticed any changes in myself. I’ve always been skeptical that enforced chastity could change anything other than sexual behavior. Now I am not so sure I was right. While I don’t think that orgasm control has changed me beyond effectively retraining my sexual expectations (a very big deal all by itself), Mrs. Lion has observed that domestic discipline has changed me in other ways.
For the last ten days I’ve been wild. My cage was removed when I traveled on business last week. I came home sick. Mrs. Lion decided to leave me uncaged and suspend some of her rules during my illness. She’s been very forgiving. I appreciate that consideration. Now that I am on the mend, I expect amnesty will end.
Flash, the writer of the comment, provided a very good list of behavioral improvements. I do wonder about the “We have sex more often.” After all, if he is locked in a chastity device one would expect there would be less sex, at least for him. Other than that item, I suspect that my behavior has improved much the same way. I await Mrs. Lion’s comment to validate or deny this.
The positive changes in his case as well as mine are the result of transferring power to our partners. In my case, when Mrs. Lion became a strict, disciplining wife, I did become less stressed and happier. She said I was on my best behavior. Apparently our life together has been improved by my spankings.
I suspect that in our case at least, Mrs. Lion is uncertain about my changes because of the radical way they were generated. She doesn’t appear to have fully assimilated the idea of punishing me as needed. I certainly don’t like it one bit when she does. But neither of us can deny the positive changes in both of us.
We’ve talked about my changes. She’s also changed as well. She lets me know when I do anything that upsets her. I believe she is finally letting me know what I have to do to avoid this. What’s more, she is enforcing it with her paddle. I never would have guessed, but I really need that. I also think she does too. It’s moving things to a new level for both of us. The results are amazingly positive. A few bruises on my butt are certainly a cheap price for all this goodness.
Yesterday there was a good example of these issues. Mrs. Lion reported in her post that she was angry I bought a ham after she told me we would have a turkey. Later, she realized that I got the ham because I know she loves ham. She wanted the turkey because she knows I don’t like ham. Some people responded to her post that I should be spanked for disobeying her instructions about turkey for dinner. Mrs. Lion correctly, in my opinion, decided I didn’t deserve punishment. As her husband, I changed the plan out of love for her. It wasn’t disobedience. It was love.
The second incident was later last night when she wanted to vacuum and expected me to take the dog into my office and then give her a nightly treat once the vacuuming was done. I wanted to give her the treat right away. I did. I don’t understand why I did that. I was confused about the vacuuming. I was disobedient. Here is an opportunity for better communication. Had Mrs. Lion said, “I told you that I will vacuum first and then you can give the dog her treat,” I would have been caught up by her correction.
Instead of that, she let me do what I started and got angry later. In our true DD relationship, the incentive is not to find ways to punish me. It’s to correct my behavior and train me to be much more aware of what is going on. Obedience has to be taught. This is an area of communication we need to work on. Because I’m sick, Mrs. Lion decided not to spank me for the dog incident.
So far our enforced chastity routines are unchanged. I expect a slight adjustment there too. I’ve observed that if I remain locked except when she is teasing me or there is a very good reason for me to be wild, I am calmer and happier. Apparently, it’s not a gift to leave me wild at any time. I’m surprised at that. I genuinely like the convenience of no cage.
Maybe that is all in my head. I need feedback from my lioness about that too. If she confirms that my mental state improves as a result of wearing a chastity device, then I expect I will be wearing it even more. When it is on or off is completely up to her. That’s as it should be.