Yesterday there was some controversy about the fact Mrs. Lion decided not to spank me when I disobeyed her. It was an interesting situation. We’ve been discussing Christmas dinner for some time. Mrs. Lion said that she would like something other than turkey. She suggested a roast beef. I know she doesn’t really like it, but will eat it if very well done. Then she invited a friend to join us. Her friend said she doesn’t like prime rib because it is so fatty. Her friend and Mrs. Lion both really like ham. I don’t.
On Monday morning, Mrs. Lion emailed me that we would have turkey on Christmas. She didn’t say any more than that. I knew that she really didn’t want turkey, but she knows I don’t care for ham. I decided that I would order a special ham for Christmas. I knew I was disobeying her. I understood that she might be angry and spank me. I decided that I would do it anyway. I ordered the ham and told her I did it.
She was upset. But she decided that she wouldn’t punish me. She understood that I did it because I love her and want her to get what she likes. This decision created some dissent from our readers. Susan explained that willful disobedience has to be punished severely. Michael agreed. Susan’s right. Willful disobedience should be severely punished. I support that one-hundred percent.
Then why was it ok for Mrs. Lion to decide not to punish me? Why was I willing to risk a beating to change the entree on Christmas? This situation is the poster child of the exception to this rule.
Normally, disobedience is self serving. When I interrupt, I am claiming that what I have to say is more important than what she is saying. If I buy something I’m told not to get, I’m doing something self serving. The key behaviors that clearly deserve severe punishment are willful, self-serving disobedience and disrespect. Interrupting is disrespectful. Then, isn’t buying ham when I was told we would have turkey willful disobedience? It is.
The big difference is that the disobedience in this case was for the benefit of Mrs. Lion. I absolutely know that she prefers ham. I have no problem with the fact that I won’t love this meat. I want to see her digging in and enjoying the meal. I think that if any power exchange is to last a lifetime, it has to include exceptions for acts of love.
Even if Mrs. Lion decides that Susan is right and I end up with a bruised, sore butt, I will be happy with my disobedience. What’s more I will do it again any time I can find a way to make my sweetheart’s life better.