Irrationally Yours

paddle on refrigerator

This paddle really hurts. Even knowing that, I get a little sexual thrill when I see it hanging on the refrigerator.

It seems that the hornier I get, the more careless I become. Yesterday when Mrs. Lion served breakfast, I began eating without looking to see if she started. She informed me that I had just avoided punishment by less than a second. I looked puzzled and then realized what I had almost done. I nearly ate first. Part of me was sorry that I avoided punishment. As you know, the idea of being spanked turns me on. When horny, I seem to forget how much I hate the actual spanking.

The wooden spoon spanking the other night was mild as spankings go. That may be why the idea of being swatted felt sexy yesterday. I can, of course, ask Mrs. Lion for a play spanking. I haven’t had one of those since the recent increase in severity. I have no idea how one would affect me. Of course there’s a problem with a play spanking. If it’s too mild it may not satisfy that sexual feeling I have. If it is stronger, it encourages me to sexualize punishment spankings.

That’s the problem with me being turned on by something that is also the way I am punished. It may seem that the obvious solution is to punish me with something that has no sexual interest for me. That could work. But spanking, my sexual interest notwithstanding, is probably the perfect punishment for me. I know, I know, it’s not up to me. True enough. But there’s a reason spanking is the most common form of adult domestic punishment. It’s safe, very painful, and works. It works for me.

Mrs. Lion will never spank my sexual feelings for this out of me. But she has discovered how to remove that component when she punishes me. It’s unpleasant for her to administer. It’s a lot worse for me. But it works.

The topic of punishment in general and spanking in particular are very easy to misunderstand. A lot of guys find the thought of being spanked arousing. I certainly do. It’s a potent combination of surrender, humiliation, and pain. This excitement was one of the reasons I asked Mrs. Lion to do domestic discipline. I think in some ways I’m not too bright. I now know that the reality of the spanking is nothing like the fantasy. Yes, it is humiliating; but not in a fun way. It’s pure pain from start to finish. If I start out hard, the erection is gone after a few swats.

You’d think I’d learn that spanking isn’t sexy at all. I haven’t. I still fantasize about getting one. I am fully aware of the reality. I know that Mrs. Lion’s spankings will only get more severe. But like yesterday morning, I still had a flash of regret when I was told I escaped a spanking by less than a second.

I’ve never purposely broken a rule to earn punishment; but I’ve strongly considered it. Interestingly, after those two severe spankings a week ago, I worked very hard to avoid another. As time passes I am less careful. Is this a male thing? Are we really boys at heart? Do I, at least, need regular reminders of the cost of misbehaving?

Maybe.

This is new to both of us. That’s why I turned to reading blogs by people who have had physical punishment all their lives. It all seems so irrational. But now that we are practicing domestic discipline, irrational or not, it works. We are both growing. This isn’t the one-way fantasy of a male being dominated by a selfish female. It’s us. We love each other and I am not becoming a child. I am Mrs. Lion’s husband. There are just times when she needs to remind me how I need to behave.

The best discussion of how to teach a man how to separate sexual thoughts about spanking from the reality of punishment appeared in the Wife’s In Charge blog. Click here to read this.

Help us celebrate
My third year in enforced chastity is drawing to a close. Coincidentally, our 2000th post publishes within a few days of the end of my third year. It seems like a good opportunity to do something different. I thought about going back to the beginning and publishing excerpts from our blog that provide a series of snapshots showing how we have changed in the last three years. Then I considered how much time it would take to compile. Being essentially lazy, I decide to put that off for another, less hectic time.

I have a different idea. Why not put you to work? Between now and January 2nd please leave questions you would like both of us to answer. Our 2000th post will be a he said, she said answering your questions. We’ve never attempted this before. In order for this to work, we need your questions. Please leave them as comments. There must be something you would like to know.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you happy holidays. Enjoy this wonderful time.

4 comments on “Irrationally Yours
  1. Anonymous says:

    Spanking is incredibly sexy, until you make it real and with the actual intent of hurting you.

    There are interviews with DD wives on strictwives.com, Like Dianne, they indulge in fun spankings and punishment spankings, although unlike Dianne they are willing to role play. They seem confident in separating the two kinds of spankings.

    One thing that makes a big difference is context and whether you have real remorse and guilt from the “offense.” A pro I see says guys will break down and cry from a much less severe spanking if they have an emotional connection to the punishment. That is something that may be missing in your case, at least for “offenses” like food spillage or forgetting your collar.

    • Caged Lion says:

      You make a good point. From my experience as a top, tears flow very quickly from guilt. Clearly, I don’t feel guilty for spilling or eating first; or for that matter, interrupting. They don’t rise to the level of something “bad” to me. That doesn’t mean they aren’t behaviors that need correcting, just that I don’t feel guilty about it when I slip and do one. You could argue that is one reason why it is important to punish me rather severely for such offenses (well, not spilling). My lack of remorse indicates that I need external “remorse” induced to effect the behavioral change.

      There are two types of punishment crying, I believe. The first is the one you mention: remorse. The second is essentially physiological: reaction to the pain. In my experience, as well as other accounts (not my personal experience, yet), a strong spanking induces a predictable set of responses. First there is the typical early reaction of squirming and yelping. That’s followed by anger (fight or flight). Last, are childlike tears. Different people take more or less time to pass through the stages, but apparently it’s pretty universal.

      Mrs. Lion has brought me to the anger phase, but never quite reached the crying. It’s only a matter of time until that happens. I’ve also noticed that once someone goes through all three phases, future spankings cycle to tears much more quickly. I don’t think this is intentional. Experienced spankers seem to know this too. That’s why they say they ignore the “crocodile” tears. I haven’t personally experienced this yet. But it makes sense to me that once I do get to this stage, I too will reach it sooner and sooner in the course of a spanking. So it would be wise for Mrs. Lion to follow the process described by Dianne and ignore my reactions and proceed until she believes I have experienced enough pain to decide that avoiding the offense is much better than the resulting spanking.

  2. Ken says:

    Because of injury my mistress has been unable to punish me, now as part of my Christmas present she has booked a session for me with a professional disciplinarian as she feels I have been taking advantage of her current condition. I get no excitement from my punishment sessions but have never been punished – as an adult – by anyone other than my beloved mistress. While I respect and accept her decision I would welcome any comments or advise regarding third parties being involved in punishments.

  3. Murph says:

    Love the blog…love the writing styles and love the dedication you have shown to it. It sounds corny, but you’re an inspiration.

    The question…When you’re tying lion’s balls, what technique are you using? Just simple wraps behind everything or wrapping down to separate the balls from the penis?

What do you think?