Lion is home for the rest of the week. He’d planned on Friday. I have Friday off as well. However, when Lion got to work yesterday it was like a ghost town. Everyone is on vacation. There’s no need for him to be there. Anyone who needs him can get him on his phone. Unfortunately, I have to be at work. I’d rather be home snoozing with Lion and the dog. We’re both still sick. Lion can’t shake his cough and I thought I was better yesterday, only to have a cough settle in again. I guess the cough just wants to keep my yucky sinuses company.
And now Lion thinks he’s broken again. It’s been difficult to edge him the past few nights. He does respond when I give him oral attention. Last night we were going to try the Magic Wand, but it was dead again. My theory is that it discharges when it is upright, hanging on the back of the door. Lion charged it and it’s on the bathroom counter. We’ll see if it holds a charge this time.
My thoughts on the broken Lion are that he’s still sick and still tired. That takes a lot out of him. Plus he does go through cycles with his horniness. We’ve talked about this before. No one can be “on” all the time. I also think I’m not doing enough to turn him on. Sure he says he’s horny, but if I played with him more he might have a better shot. I’ll pull out some clothespins or Velcro tonight to see if I can help the situation.
Lion tells me he’s serious when he says he might be broken. I know he’s serious. He wonders what will happen if he really is broken. There won’t be any need for a cage. He probably thinks there won’t be any more domestic discipline. What about snuggling? I guess I’ll ignore him completely.
Nope. First of all, he’s not broken. And even if he was, he’d go to a doctor to see if there’s a reason for it. If there was, then we’d do whatever we need to do to fix it. If there isn’t, we’d discuss whether the cage is needed. We’d discuss if we want to continue domestic discipline. We’ll definitely still snuggle. I won’t ignore him. I’m not abandoning him if he’s broken.
Maybe the cage did get me in the habit of unlocking him and playing with him, but he’s been wild for weeks on end and I still play with him. If he’s irreparably broken, I can’t really play with him anymore, but I can still be near him. It doesn’t mean I can’t touch him. He says it still feels good when I fondle him, even if he doesn’t stay hard. I’m assuming it would still feel good if he’s broken.
The bottom line is that I’m not going anywhere, broken Lion or not. He’s stuck with me.
Thank you for your candor in your posts. You’re a good woman and he’s lucky to have you. He’s a good guy and you’re lucky too.
I’m a closet desiree of enforced chastity and bdsm. My wife has no interest in it, but I love reading your posts.
How could I make this lifestyle more appealing to someone who has little interest in vanilla sex, much less bdsm?
I have been following you for some time. My personal feeling is Lions orgasms are too frequent and his T&D too often. My suggestion is 30 day orgasm with 2x-3x per week tease and denial.
What made you select those particular times/frequencies?
I don’t think he’s broken. But I can imagine his idea / feeling of being broken.
Most of the time the reason for this is being found between the ears.
Stress… wanting too bad… wanting to please… wanting to stay erect… etc. The more he wants it and starts doubting if he can… the harder it will get to exceed.
Although it sounds easy, it is hard to let go of those doubting feelings. I’ve been having problems since I was approx 30y/o. If I focus to much on the wanted result, I stay flaccid… with enough tries you can even orgasm being flaccid I found out 😉 … relax… don’t push too much and try to enjoy the feeling… try to fantasise more during the sexual play times. Talk to each other.
I won’t say this is it… it is it for me and maybe it helps for you two.
I’ve discovered your blog lately and love reading it. I’m in a vanilla relationship. My wife knows about my kink and submissive feelings, but finds it hard to work with.
I think it’s all in his head too. Shhhh…don’t tell him.
My wife and I both enjoy reading your blog and Lion’s. We have our ups and downs in doing our version of FLR/domestic discipline and chastity with a Jail Bird, which was in part, inspired by this blog. Our ups are usually when my wife is being stricter and meaner with my orgasms and downs when she is feeling less confident and in control and afraid to deny me enough. She sometimes suffers a surfeit of ‘kindness’.
It looks to me that Lion gets a lot of orgasms. I suggest that giving him so many might be creating psychological pressure if he fears that getting erect is going to result in an unwanted orgasm that will cause his energy and excitement to drop. This may be subconscious when he really deep down knows that it is denial that he craves.
Denying him will help mend him as it will reduce the pressure. Another reason is that denial is ‘hot’. When you purposely deny him for longer than he wants then he will really feel your power, and the experience will be highly erotic.
If like, my wife, you struggle with denial then think of giving him an orgasm as draining his energy and lowering his immune system. Orgasms are best rationed by you and he left frustrated but over-brimming with energy.
As for the right amount of time, if you suggest a denial period and he is isn’t appalled it’s probably too short. Most people suggest a typical wait of 2 weeks to 4 weeks. Yoga Girl highlighted some Chinese who suggested for men in their 50’s not more than once in 20 days (i.e. 3 weeks). But you should be willing to push for longer. Don’t forget he wants his limits pushed. We subs in chastity all want that. It’s also not something we can really ask for – not directly. Not without ruining the fantasy of being denied for longer than we want.
It’s clear you love each other so I am sure you will work it out on this life journey.