Since Lion has been broken (his word, not mine), I’ve found it harder to read him. I got pretty good at seeing the changes in his face and the rest of his body to know when he was getting close. Recently, he doesn’t behave the same way. I don’t think it’s a conscious thing on his part. He never knew he made any faces or other movements.
Last night we were merrily getting him toward the edge when he suddenly opened his eyes and stared at me. I asked what was wrong and he said nothing was wrong. Then he started to get soft again. That, I understand. It was a lapse in concentration. It happened at least one other time last night. I brought out the Magic Wand and a few minutes later he had a ruined orgasm. I knew he was getting close. I just didn’t think he was that close. And I didn’t even realize he was coming until it was too late to salvage.
I hate ruined orgasms almost as much as Lion does. Lion says they hurt. To me, they are a waste. I don’t use them as discipline, although I did purposely go for them a few times to see if I could get the timing correct. I think I read somewhere that some women use them as punishment because it’s all the cum of an orgasm with none of the thrill. While I do want the cum, I don’t want Lion to suffer for it.
Lion is wondering why he can’t stay hard. I think he’s worried about being broken. If 90% of sex is in the brain, then that could account for it. He’s thinking so much about getting hard and staying hard that he sabotages himself. Maybe he thinks “now I’ve got it” and his subconscious says “not so fast”. I’m not really worried about him. We’ve been down this road before. Eventually the pendulum swings in the other direction and he can’t keep himself from getting hard.
I was thinking of giving Lion a play spanking too. I almost told him if he could keep himself out of trouble, he could have a play spanking tonight. Since today is punishment day, it seemed fitting to have some sort of spanking. Then I thought it might be too much pressure on him, both last night and today. Last night because he might talk himself out of getting to the edge, and today because he might accidentally break a rule and need an actual punishment spanking. So, I decided to give him the play spanking last night.
I’m not sure I did a very good job of it though. I did get his cheeks nice and rosy, but my shoulder was starting to give out. He said he liked it. Apparently it wasn’t enough to keep him turned on if he couldn’t stay hard. It’s been quite a while since I’ve done a play spanking. I guess I’m out of practice.
Maybe the key is to go back to basics. Maybe he should have more play spankings and other kinds of play. If I pay more attention to him, we’ll get him through his broken stage. I don’t think Lion will argue with that line of reasoning.