Lion is home today. It must be nice to get every holiday off. I’d much rather be home snuggling with him and snoozing. One good thing about working on a holiday is that there tends to be less traffic. The down side is that when the boss takes the day off, it’s very quiet around the office. You’d think we’d be able to get all sorts of stuff done when it’s quiet. Not so. We all seem to be spinning our wheels and it’s not for lack of trying to get things done.
On the way to work this morning, I was thinking about a blog Lion asked me to read. One of the reasons I don’t normally read other blogs is because they make me feel like I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing. They either say I’m supposed to be making Lion wait longer for an orgasm, I should be teasing him a certain way, or I should be punishing him more. The blog I read last night was the latter. Not necessarily punishing him more often; just more harshly when I do.
I had a hard enough time wrapping my head around punishing him at all. It took forever to get to a point of actually punishing hard enough for him to think about repeating the offense. Then I swatted hard enough to cause bruising. Part of me was happy I did it because, while he didn’t really like it, I knew it was something Lion wanted. Part of me hated the bruises. I know they aren’t permanent. I know Lion wants them. I just don’t like hurting him.
The blog said a real punishment should be at least 100 swats. Um….no. First, I’m not going to give him that many. Second, I got bruising after twenty-some swats. What will 100 swats leave behind? Third, I saw the pictures of what 100 to 300 swats look like. No thank you! Too much. I can’t imagine being annoyed enough at Lion to warrant 100, let alone 300, swats.
I know the concept of reading other blogs is to get ideas, but that’s not an idea I want. Lion did say it was too much and all he wanted me to take away is the idea that I’m doing things correctly. The target area, the fact that he should regret making the mistake and try not to make it again, and showing him who’s boss. I’m pretty sure I can do that in less than 100 swats.
It’s your lives.You must live it as you feel best.What some other Bloggers wants to do is up to them.If you are happy that is all that matters.
Absolutely, to each their own! There is no right and wrong in this. It’s about communicating: Understanding what your partner craves and giving it to them. Ideally having fun with it yourself. But sometimes it is a compromise to give him what he craves. I think you do need a sadistic streak to enjoy doling out on the harder side of things.
When Lion has you read these blogs, you may want to be aware of and mindful of the context. Strict Julie and her husband engage in role plays, not real discipline. She proudly proclaims her sadism, and by all accounts, he must be a heavy masochist because he craves very severe, out of control beatings (that’s what Julie calls them) where he cries uncontrollably and begs for mercy. Julie for her part, loves the begging for mercy and ignoring his pleas. If you read a lot of the other posts (and comments) in detail, you’ll see this.
Julie is smart and a good writer, but she’s glib and very cavalier about safety because she wants to entertain her readers. After pushing her on the safety issue, I got her to explain how she went through a period of finding her husband’s limits with the use of “yellow” and “red” safewords.
It sounds like you read http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/2013/03/beating-your-man-properly.html. I told her that she was being reckless for putting that out without any discussion of safety. The beating she describes would destroy me, yet she blithely suggests it is suitable for all.
After I and others pointed out how sadistic her posts seemed to be (in response to an interview she did in someonesgonnagetit.com), she issued the following disclaimer at the end of that article:
Disclaimer: this type of limit-pushing play is only for couples who genuinely wish to engage in it: both parties. It is immoral, illegal, and incorrect to ever do such a thing in any way non-consensually. Be safe, be sane, and be consensual always. And have fun!
You’re not really engaging in “limit-pushing play”, and neither one of you is having “fun.” Your intent and purpose are completely different from hers. So, it’s important to keep that in mind when reading some of the blogs Lion may be sending your way. I was relieved to see your reaction.
We both have years of experience on the Web. There are over 2,000 posts here alone. Mrs. Lion is an excellent critical reader. When I suggest she read something, she often thinks it’s because I want her to be like the blogger. Usually it’s because I think the post is interesting and might hold some insight for us both.
I was just pointing out how the different context behind what those two are doing affects the end result and provides a further reason for her not to compare herself unfavorably to someone else or worry that she is “doing it wrong,” because in this case the “it” that you are doing and what’s happening on that blog are different. Also, it”s a long blog with a lot of posts, and she may not have caught the context. I wasn’t suggesting that she doesn’t know how to use the Internet or read critically.
The specific article I asked her to read was her introduction to spanking for women. That’s where Julie explains that she augments her posts for masturbatory enjoyment. I think she does a very fair job of explaining her take on spanking. Mrs. Lion gets it. I would love Mrs. Lion and Julie to correspond.