Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday was about her reaction to reading a page offering help for wives whose husbands want to be spanked. “Advice for Wives” on the “Strict Julie Spanks” blog is what she read. This article is not entirely accurate as the author admits. She spices up her writing to provide masturbatory material for her male readers. I warned Mrs. Lion of that. However, the essence is accurate.
My dear lioness tends to compare herself to the material she reads. That’s why, she says she doesn’t like reading blogs about our interests. I get it. I can see that reading about more extreme spanking could make her feel that she isn’t doing what I asked. I think the big reason she makes these comparisons is that I suggested that she look at the material. Apparently she assumes that I am providing the material as a way to teach her the “right way” to handle me. That’s not the case at all. When I suggest she read something, it is because there is information in the article that might interest her or offer a different perspective.
In the case of the “Advice for Wives” article, I saw a few things I thought might be helpful. For one, Julie makes the point that spanking your husband isn’t necessarily fun at all. In fact, it is most likely something a wife has no interest in doing. She may never learn to enjoy paddling or strapping his butt. She goes on to say that it doesn’t matter if the wife likes it or not. It’s for someone she loves. It doesn’t hurt her and it satisfies an important need of his. That point hit home with me. I always hoped Mrs. Lion would enjoy spanking me. I now know that isn’t necessary or even likely.
Another point I thought would be useful is Julie’s assertion that hitting the bottom and upper thighs isn’t going to really injure the man. It will hurt, especially the upper thighs, but any residual pain is gone in a day or two and marks fade soon after. Mrs. Lion commented that she hated the image of a spanked butt in the article. Me too. But the fact is that the level of marking is really an individual characteristic of each bottom. Some people will bruise if you just look at them hard. Others, like me, rarely turn a dark red. In fact I don’t ever remember that happening. However, I can bruise easily in some spots. The degree of marking is not an indication of the severity of the spanking.
I wanted her to note that the reliable way to know a spanking is truly hitting home (pardon the pun), is to look for other indications. For example, when a spanking has reached the point of being truly memorable, the spankee will begin to sweat. He may or may not produce tears as well. As Julie points out, the tears aren’t really crying in the classic sense. They are a reaction like the perspiration. The number of swats needed to get this reaction are variable by individual. That doesn’t mean I want every spanking to get to the point of sweating or tears. I felt myself starting to sweat during two recent punishments.
The reason I read all this material is that I want to better understand what is happening to me. I would like Mrs. Lion to read as well because I figure that she will get useful input. I think that Mrs. Lion tends to believe she doesn’t do things “right,” especially when it comes to punishing me. She seems to believe that she has to meet what she imagines are my expectations in order to be successful.
It’s reasonable to believe that if she is doing something I want, she should judge the quality of her efforts by what I say about it. Indirectly, if I suggest some reading, it must mean I think she isn’t meeting my expectations. That can’t be further from what I think. I want the opposite. Mrs. Lion is successful when she decides what I get. When it is something new for her, like domestic discipline, she uses my feedback to help her learn. At some point she begins learning on her own what works for her and what makes the desired changes in me.
For a long time the spankings were painful, but not effective in deterring me from repeating an offense. Thanks in part to my reading, that has changed. Mrs. Lion responded to my feedback in a most painful way. It was the right thing for her to do. It works. Does that mean what she was doing before was wrong? Absolutely not! It was an evolutionary step. Mrs. Lion is amazing. She is a great disciplinary wife.
So what does it mean when I ask Mrs. Lion to take some time to read about what we do? As I’ve been saying, it doesn’t mean I think she isn’t doing it correctly. It’s because I want her to get input from other women who do what she is doing. It’s also because I want to retire as her source of information.