Earlier this week I wrote about the lifelong humiliation we males suffer due to our dependency on our wives for sex and emotional support. Wouldn’t you expect women to revel in this power position? I think that many find it to be a burden.
A glaring example of this is that even though women decide when and if their mates will have sex with them, there is a frequent complaint that their men don’t initiate sex. So, we males are expected to attempt to initiate sex with the full knowledge that we will be rejected.
Think about it. I’m supposed to make sexual advances. Then, my mate decides whether to reject me, or if I am lucky, have sex with me. A very common female complaint is that their mates aren’t sexually aggressive enough. I wonder why?
Let’s look at this logically. You’re standing at a bus stop. Your bus pulls up. The driver opens the door and as you begin to step in he says, “Sorry I can’t take you today,” closes the door and drives off. You notice that no one got off at your stop.
Why did he stop if he wasn’t going to let you board? Another bus stops. You try to enter, but the driver stops you. This happens over and over. After a while, a bus driver finally lets you in. You might get tired of trying to board, only to be rejected. That’s how it feels to be a guy.
Making advances often results in rejection. This is painful because it is a very powerful reminder of where the sexual power resides. Even if the rejections are relatively infrequent, it still stings. Over time, a guy can just give up. His wife gets angry that he isn’t “interested” in her sexually. That’s how she interprets his lack of initiative. She feels rejected. Now he feels badly because she is silently angry at him.
Did she consider that he never rejected her sexually. Women assume their mates are always ready for sex. That’s not true, but it is true enough that very few guys will ever say no. I enjoy sex with Mrs. Lion even if my penis isn’t involved.
Women are programmed to attach sexual self worth to how many sexual advances they get from their partners. Very few wives want to initiate sex with their husbands, and feel hurt and angry if their husbands don’t initiate with them.
This feels like a lose/lose proposition to me. We males are going to feel badly no matter how we behave sexually. There are ways to avoid this sand trap. The least practical is to always say “yes.” It just isn’t realistic to be that well synchronized. Another difficult, but very practical alternative is to change roles. Agree that the wife will initiate sex when she is available. Doing this isn’t all that easy. But it seems fair; at least to me.
Mrs. Lion and I are in an enforced chastity relationship. By definition, she has to initiate any sex I get. She has the only key that unlocks my chastity device. But I don’t think this is as successful as I had hoped it would be. Every so often she comments about wishing I would initiate. I should. If I initiate, I’m locked away so I know I’m not having sex. So I have no reason to be disappointed. This weekend I will try again.
Maybe we are on the way to a solution that works for both of us. Mrs. Lion continues to control when and how I get sex. If she wants to ride me, she can unlock my cage and climb aboard. But while I am locked up, I can try to provide her with an orgasm. If she isn’t interested, she can let me know. I won’t feel the sting of rejection because I am providing something just for her. If she isn’t interested, I can try again a few days later.
I fly back to my lioness this evening. I can’t wait. Flying west takes two hours longer than flying east at this time of year. No point whining; it does no good and if Mrs. Lion is around, painful consequences are probable if she hears me. She’s meeting me at the airport. I can’t wait to to hold her in my arms again.