Sports

Lion may think he’s in a race to the finish. He tries his best, but I stop and he loses the race by a stroke.

As I was following the dog into the kitchen last night to get her doggie ice cream, I was pretending I was an announcer at a horse race: Down the backstretch and around the final turn, it’s doggie ice cream by a nose. She likes the fanfare. A little later, Lion and I were talking about edging. He was very frustrated last night. He wondered what’s the big deal; I get him almost all the way there, why can’t I get him the rest of the way? This morning it occurred to me that Lion’s sex life is like sports.

Think about it. Lion’s on third base and someone hits the ball to right field. He takes off for home. Will he get to home before the ball? It’s. So. Close. But no, he’s out! Or it’s fourth down and inches to the goal line. Lion’s team is losing by four points. It all depends on this next snap. Can he make it in? The ball is snapped and there’s a collision of bodies. The refs dig through the pile and….no! He didn’t make it! Or, the horse race analogy. Lion is neck and neck with another horse. Who will win? Lion? The other horse? It’s a photo finish. And it’s the other horse. Poor Lion.

Obviously, we both win when he gets to come, but those photo finishes are rough. I was relentless with him last night. I must have edged him eight or ten times. No wonder pre-cum was dripping for so long! It hasn’t been that many days, but I guess for a non-broken Lion, it feels like an eternity. I used plain coconut oil on him. For some reason he likes coconut oil, but not other lubes. We have a silicon lube that I like. It’s very slippery. We have other ones that aren’t as slippery. I think the coconut oil fits in with the latter. I know the silicon is more difficult to clean off than the others, but I’m talking about how they feel as a lube. He loves the coconut oil. Okay. I can do that, just not all the way. Until I do go all the way.