Lion has proposed a new concept. A few actually. He doesn’t think he should be edged on nights that he’s punished. He thinks I should edge him when I feel he’s earned it. And orgasms should also happen when he’s earned them. He’s trying to make me feel less pressure to edge him every night.
A long time ago, I said I might get bored. I didn’t mean I’d get bored with Lion himself. I meant sex/play every night could get boring after a while. Even in the beginning of our relationship, Lion got most of the sex. I didn’t need sex every night and there’s a certain amount of work involved in amusing a lion every night. I concentrated more and more on him and less and less on myself.
Eventually, it did get boring. And I wondered why it was always all about him. Why couldn’t he initiate? What about me? So we stopped playing. We rarely had sex and, when we did, it was usually still all about Lion. It’s not his fault. I never told him what I was feeling. Well, I may have a few times. His response was that it was difficult for him to initiate and that was the end of it. Sex became nonexistent for me and almost nonexistent for Lion.
Fast forward (although it wasn’t all that fast) to three years ago when Lion suggested enforced chastity. Remembering the past with sex every night, I thought it would be a compromise to edge him every other night. He wanted more, so we went to every night. I have flashbacks to the beginning when I gave him a hand job or blow job every night, especially when I’m giving him a hand job every night. The difference, of course, is that the goal is usually not ejaculation. In some ways it would be easier to go for gold. There’s no need to be tuned into the faces he makes or when his toes curl or when his balls contract so I can stop in time. Orgasm is the prize and we’re going full steam ahead. Now, if I’m not paying close enough attention (or sometimes despite the fact I’m paying close attention), he can have a ruined orgasm. Not the goal at all.
So let’s get to the new concepts. The other night, I was sort of rambling on the way home from the theater. I said I didn’t know if it was better for me to set an orgasm date in my head or not. Suppose I set the date to a week from Wednesday. On the Monday before, I really want to give Lion an orgasm, but I know the date is two days away. There’s a certain amount of pressure to wait. On the other hand, if I don’t set a date, then I’m apt to just give him an orgasm whenever I want to. Waits be damned. Which is why I don’t know if I can get behind the idea of not edging him on nights he’s punished. What if I want to play on those nights? What if I’ve been thinking about the Magic Wand all day and he goes and spills food on himself at dinner?
And how am I supposed to determine when Lion has earned an edging or an orgasm? We don’t have a point system in place and I don’t anticipate having one. Is it some feeling I’ll have? Did he take out the garbage when asked, so he deserves to be edged? And what if I feel he hasn’t done enough to be edged? How long will he wait before he needs to go back to being edged every night? And how long will it be before not edging him is the norm? We’ll be right back to where we were before enforced chastity.
I’m definitely having trouble with these ideas. Lion thought he was being helpful giving me options. I think I’m more comfortable with things the way they are. For now, at least.
[Lion – I’m not at all comfortable with it being all about me. I hate it, in fact. However, it’s not fair for me to demand that Mrs. Lion get orgasms. That’s just more pressure for her. We’ve been discussing this for a while now. Maybe after her shower tonight I’ll see if I can get her frisky and please her. Most important to me is that I make her happy. If no sex makes her happy, then no sex; at least for her. We’re still learning.]