Beyond My Wildest Dreams
At some point things go from interesting, sometimes-painful play and become real. I don’t think either Mrs. Lion or I ever expected enforced chastity and domestic discipline to become part of our day-to-day lives. My fantasies never pictured how it would be if that happened.
I’m not sure when the transition occurred, but I know it has. The rules I follow are just part of my life. Punishment is administered without any fetish-related activity. It’s just, “Go pick a paddle.” I find one and without another word lie face down on the bed. Mrs. Lion applies the paddle very painfully; usually without saying a word. It’s all just part of our lives. Our roles are fixed in our marriage.
The same is true of sex. With or without the chastity device, my only stimulation comes from her. She is understanding if I can’t respond the way she wants. She understands that my body doesn’t always cooperate as well as it should. But she tries anyway if she wishes. If she doesn’t, no amount of begging will get her to let me come. She calls it “her weenie”. It truly is.
None of this happened quickly. The process is so gradual that I don’t think either of us noticed. It’s taken years. It’s interesting that we started because she agreed to try something I thought would be fun. We never discussed how it would evolve. There have been many times that one or both of us felt that things weren’t working. At those times we talked and agreed we would try a bit more.
After a particularly painful spanking, I can withdraw. I’m sure that Mrs. Lion worries she has gone too far. She doesn’t see it as an opportunity to give me a way out. I never consider that we can stop. I feel hurt and a little angry. I pout, but I never have a single thought about changing anything. The fact that neither of us considers ending things is the indicator that domestic discipline and enforced chastity have lives of their own. They are part of us. The only changes are the ones we have to make internally to better support what we are doing.
This may seem strange to you. After all, both are kinks that we spent many years without. But now, sometimes without any idea why they work, we both agree that our relationship is richer for our choice. Domestic discipline, in particular, offers the most graphic illustration of how we have changed. Mrs. Lion has made it clear that if I am unhappy about being punished, I can prevent it. All I have to do is behave as she wishes. If I’m painfully spanked it’s because I did something wrong. So, as she says, all I have to do is what I’m supposed to. Simple.
Notable by its absence is any mention that we can stop if I am unhappy about being punished. That’s not an option either of us considers. We’ve both learned that the more “memorable” my punishments, the less likely I will earn another. As Mrs. Lion has become more severe in her punishments, she has also become more observant of my behavior. It seems that once she decided that when she spanks me, I will feel as much pain as possible, she also decided to become a strict enforcer of my rules.
We didn’t discuss this. It just happened. Things just changed. We crossed a line. There’s no going back. Last week I was spanked with a slotted wooden spoon that I selected. One of the slots cut me a little and I bled. Once before a spanking caused me to bleed a bit. That time Mrs. Lion stopped at once and was upset that she drew blood. Last week it didn’t even slow her down. When she finished, she told me I was bleeding. I asked for a band aid to keep the blood off the bed. She put one on. No big deal.
The point isn’t that Mrs. Lion is comfortable drawing blood and that her punishments are horribly cruel. They aren’t. They are probably less severe than they will be as she gets more comfortable with physical punishment. I’m not injured physically or psychologically. The opposite is true. The more severe her punishments, the more comfortable I am in my role. I don’t know why that’s true, but it is.
I had chastity fantasies for many years. I also dreamed about being spanked. What we have now goes well beyond anything I imagined. I still have some fantasies about both. I am not trying to live them. They are just nice, erotic thoughts. My reality is much more interesting and exciting.