I know, I know. I should be writing about male chastity or domestic discipline. Spoiler alert: This is about neither. Many of our readers strongly advocate that I get the rotator cuff surgery. Not surprisingly, the online ortho sites agree. I tend to research the hell out of anything new I am considering. It’s my nature. By the time I make a decision, I want to be an expert. In this case, my concern isn’t so much about the surgery. It’s about how I will manage the long recovery.
My first step was to find out how my employer can support me. I’m very lucky that I can take fully paid medical leave for as long as I will need. In this case, about two weeks. I can also work from home much of the time. After the two week initial recovery, I will want to go to the office at least a few days a week. It turns out that my employer will pay for transportation too while I can’t drive.
For some time after the surgery, Mrs. Lion agreed to stay home and care for me. I expect it will be more than a week, but not more than two. Who knows? Everything I read about recovery is clear that a care giver is required. I won’t be able to dress myself until the sling is off. That can be as much as three months.
If I want to go to work, I will need a way to handle mundane stuff like peeing. Based on my research, I will need elastic-waist pants to do that. Yuck. Oh well. I ordered a test pair from Lands End. A disabled lion can’t be very picky about clothing choices. Mrs. Lion will have to get me into socks and shoes. That’s not a one-handed project. I have mostly button shirts and they are the kind suggested for disabled lions.
The surgeon says that when I am at my desk, I can remove the sling and use the computer keyboard. That’s a relief. There will be a lot of pain. That means narcotic drugs, which in turn causes constipation. The surgeon giveth and he taketh away. I may disappear from the Journal for a while after the surgery (if I decide to get it). At least initially my communication will be largely gibberish.
What blows me away is that this is outpatient surgery. I go in and get out the same day. This is actually good news. I don’t need any of those deadly hospital diseases. It also feels very strange to choose to be an invalid, at least for a while. Mrs. Lion will have to make significant sacrifices to get me through all this. I don’t think our relationship will be stressed, but our finances and patience will. Mrs. Lion doesn’t get paid if she doesn’t work. After the first few days, when I am not on narcotics twenty-four-hours-a-day, she will probably have to go to work just to keep things running there. I think I will be able to survive four or five hours alone.
I hate this. I’m just not ready to be that helpless. The research I do confirms my worst fears about the pain and long recovery. It also gives me ideas on how to work around some of the hurdles.