Although I am supposed to be the decision maker in the family, there are some decisions that are not mine to make. Sure I can tell Lion he can only wear red underwear, but if I say he needs to wear black jeans from now on, he’d likely draw the line. I don’t think he’s a black jeans kind of guy. Besides, that’s a very overt look. No one knows his underwear are red.
We do not have an authoritarian household. We share almost everything. Yes, there are chores that I normally do. Same with Lion. There’s no reason I can’t clean the toilets. There’s no reason Lion can’t do laundry. It just tends to work out that we stay in our own lanes most of the time. I can ask Lion to do the laundry. I guess I can even tell him to do it. If I can’t do something, for whatever reason, Lion can pick up the slack. When he had his kidney stones, we ignored the garbage for a few weeks because normally two of us load the cans in the truck to take them down the driveway. Technically, I can load the cans myself as long as they aren’t super heavy. Or I can walk them down the long driveway. The only reason we ignored them is that it was really rainy and dark when I would have had to drag them out. We decided they could wait.
Lion is worried about his surgery. Yesterday, he flip-flopped quite a few times between having the surgery and not having it. He’s like a ping pong game right now. I understand. He’s scared of the pain. He’s scared of the lengthy recovery time. He’s scared he’ll lose me because I won’t want to deal with a cranky, demanding Lion or because I’ll resent him for not being able to help around the house. He’s scared he’ll be useless. I can’t reassure him enough. I know he’d help me if I couldn’t do things. I know he wouldn’t leave me because I was being a lump and leaving all the work for him. It’s not like he’s just being lazy. There’s a reason he won’t be able to help after surgery. He literally will not be allowed to lift anything heavier than a cup of coffee.
Basically, at this point we’re just trying to get our ducks in a row. I even suggested we dig out our walkie talkies so he could get in touch with me no matter where I am in the house. If he needs water, or help to the bathroom, or anything, I’m just the press of a button away. He joked about getting a bell so he could ring for service. Ding! I’m here to help.