Soft, Squishy Center
Lion’s pre-op appointment went well. The surgeon was more personable at this visit. Lion said it was because he had a witness with him – me. I think the surgeon had a bad day at the first appointment. When I left Lion, he was more confident about getting the surgery. He got positive answers from the doctor and he knew what to expect.
By the time Lion made it home last night, he was tired and in pain. He no longer saw the surgery through rose-colored glasses. He crawled in bed, snoozed, and stayed there most of the night. When I said I was achy all over, he asked if I wanted him to postpone his surgery. No way! I’m always achy to some extent. If we wait for me not to be achy, he’ll never get his shoulder fixed. I know he doesn’t see that as a problem, but I do.
I think we’re at a delicate balancing act right now. Lion needs 1.0 to take care of him, but he also needs 2.0 to tell him to knock it off with the pity party and just get the damn surgery already. I know he’s scared. He’s made it his whole life without really having anything debilitating happen to him. He’s had a few surgeries here and there, but nothing that left him completely dependent on someone else. Despite the fact that he’s a big, strong Lion, he does have a soft, squishy center.
Not many people have had the benefit of having handicapped parents. I guess I never really considered it a benefit until now. I know how to help someone after surgery. I know how to wait on someone for everything. Need help getting out of bed? I can do that. Need help in the bathroom? I can do that. Need a glass of water? I’m on it. Without realizing he was doing it, Lion married the perfect woman for the job. It’s pretty much second nature to me.
Now I have to train Lion to receive help. I’ve been doing most of the stuff around the house already. Lion’s been in a lot of pain lately. Being vertical wipes him out. But he feels bad that I’m doing everything. He wants to help. That’s an admirable trait in a husband. Not so much in a patient. Yes, he does need to help himself in many ways. He can’t just lay there like a lump. He needs to help me help him out of bed, to the bathroom, to the shower. I don’t expect him to be completely immobile after the first day or so. Once his body has come to terms with the fact that it was essentially attacked, the shock will wear off and he’ll be more functional.
I think he’ll be able to move around much more quickly than he does. He’s not going to want to stay in bed. And he shouldn’t. He’ll want to go sit in his office and do whatever he does on the computer. Granted, he won’t be able to do it for long at first, but he’ll get there. You can’t keep a good Lion down. His biggest hurdle right now is not feeling bad about needing my help. Deal with it. Or, as 2.0 says, suck it up Buttercup!