My job is to arrange ducks. That is, accomplish large projects with a minimum of churn. I make sure that I am aware of risks and have contingency plans to mitigate damage that might occur. No, I’m not a project manager. I used to be one. I’ve moved up a bit in the world. The ducks I arrange now are more like geese; they are larger and the consequences of errors are much larger.Anyway, I find it impossible to avoid arranging the ducks involved in my upcoming surgery. It’s what I do.

So how does a professional duck arranger end up in a Female Led Relationship? By definition, I have no control over any ducks when Mrs. Lion calls the shots. It’s difficult for me to be in that position, but worth the trouble. You see, Mrs. Lion may not understand exactly what I do, but she knows I’m paid to make things happen the way I want them to.

FLR is a nice balance for my professional duck arranging. At least, that’s what I thought when I suggested it. So far it’s proven to be a correct prediction. Our progress in FLR is slow and not without bumps. My upcoming surgery is a big speed bump. It’s too big for me to just surrender and trust Mrs. Lion will make everything ok.

That doesn’t mean she can’t do just that. She is incredibly smart and a virtuoso at improvisation. If I were a more perfect lion, I would just do what I am told; go to the hospital and trust Mrs. Lion can get me home and keep me comfortable and fed. Deep down, I know she can. But then I’m not evolved enough to accept this when it comes to such a huge impact event in my life. No. I have to arrange the ducks at home.

It’s to Mrs. Lion’s eternal credit that she puts up with all my thrashing. The problem for me is that there s a very narrow gap between whether it is worth it to get the surgery or better to just deal with the pain. Yes, it hurts. But medication can keep it under control. On the other hand, the injury is a traumatic tear that can be repaired quite easily. Waiting another year will change that easy repair into a risky procedure.

Which way should I arrange those ducks? The lowest risk arrangement has me coping with the pain. It’s cheaper, has lower risks, and  requires little change in the way we live. The ducks are much more difficult to arrange for the surgery. Failure to get them in the right positions can result in a great deal of pain, the inability to take care of myself, and even inability to get home from the hospital.

Mrs. Lion and I have worked out possible solutions to the most serious issues. This weekend we will deal with transportation. I hope we will also do more traditional play and teasing as well. We’re still the same kinky couple. We’ve been taking a break to help me manage something that truly frightens me. I’m not easy to scare and I am not a bit used to feeling fear.

I’ll let you know how our latest duck arranging goes. Stay tuned.