The Chastity Talk

“But all you have to do…” These six words are at the top of a slippery slope of non-consensual male chastity. Male chastity, especially involving a chastity device is a male invention. Fantasies of forced sexual frustration abound in the male masturbatory world. I certainly had them.

Some guys feel driven to purchase a chastity device and “try it on.” Yup, that’s me again. Self-imposed, forced chastity is an oxymoron. No matter how you slice it, if you are locking yourself up, you are also able to unlock yourself when you decide to get off. This obvious failing occurs to all of us at some point.

Some of us are lucky enough to have a partner. And a few of us actually ask our partners if they would lock us up. A very small percentage of partners agree. After that first ‘yes”, comes the talk. You know, she asks, “How does this work?” Since most of us are pretty timid about asking in the first place, the very thought of a detailed conversation about how you want her to fulfill your fantasy is enough to make you want to run.

A lot of guys refer their partners to various web sites. Some even are sent here. In fact, the reason I started this blog in the first place was to provide a reasonably woman-friendly website about enforced male chastity. For the lucky few, the baby keyholder does some research and has an idea how to proceed. The cage goes on.

Until now, enforced chastity is a burgeoning shared kink. Alas, most of us can’t leave well enough alone. Faced with the realization of a sexual dream that has no orgasmic outlet, as sexual tension grows, so does the need for more. Emboldened by acceptance of the chastity dream, it’s time for enlarging the scope of her power. Right?

This is the beginning of a non-consensual dominant relationship. Chances are pretty good that the keyholder isn’t particularly excited or motivated by her partner’s cock locked into a little cage. She did it for you, not for her. She probably imagined that locking you up with periodic releases for orgasms is harmless enough. After all, it makes you happy.

But now your testosterone-fueled brain imagines new ways she can exercise her power and increase your frustration. It could be basing your release on a certain number of orgasms she has. Your fevered brain reasons that any woman would love to receive constant sexual stimulation. You are doing her a favor. So you have another talk.

“All you have to do is let me please you day and night,” you suggest. Maybe she doesn’t want to come so much. Maybe she prefers you to want to please her without the carrot of your orgasm hanging in front of your nose. See where this is going? Even if she says yes, is it something she really wants to do? Or, is it something that she believes will make you happy? Ultimately, success at any power exchange requires that both partners are getting something they want from the activity. The capital of making you happy will run out sooner or later.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t offer your latest, hot ideas to her. She may be willing to try them and if she likes them, add them to your lives. That’s how it works with Mrs. Lion. She will try what I suggest. If she likes it, we keep it up. If it turns out that I don’t like it, too bad; it was my idea, after all.

It’s very difficult to avoid pressuring your keyholder to go to “the next level”. You can’t do that. You can give her ideas so long as you remember to tell her that it is just an idea and she doesn’t have to do it if she doesn’t like it. Keep your power exchange consensual. Give your dominant partner a break.

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion’s first mouth soaping was 7/17.

One comment on “The Chastity Talk
  1. Well put! Pushy subs with fetish blinkers on!

    I think the best you can do is honestly offer your fetish as a tool for her to experiment with or use.

    For example, if you have a legitimate difference of opinion on – say – housekeeping standards, perhaps this naturally resolves in her favour when you are locked, not as a quid pro quo, but because locked makes you more submissive.

What do you think?