Month: June 2017

I need to give you my side of the story that Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday. She talked about how upset I am about traveling in our camper when we don’t have access to TV. It probably seems lame to you that I am unhappy about camping (you really have to stretch it to call it camping) without my satellite TV. Let me explain.

We have a very luxurious 36-foot fifth-wheel trailer. It it air conditioned with a full kitchen and bath. There is a 40-inch flat screen in the living room and a 32-inch one in the bedroom. We have a couch and two recliners in the living room. Sound nice? It is. The trip planned for today is five days at a state park in the middle of nowhere. The nearest supermarket is twenty miles away. There is no cell phone service, hence no Internet, and no local TV. Idyllic?

It is if you like being in the middle of nowhere.

The campground is noisy at night with other trailer and RV owners having campfires and doing other outdoor stuff. If campfires are allowed, the smoke is so thick it feels like you are in the middle of a forest fire. Neither us cares much for outdoorsy, campground stuff. So we sit inside breathing filtered, air-conditioned air

The park is on the Columbia river and has a beach (rocks no sand). Our dog likes to wade there. We don’t know a soul in the area or at the park.

You should know that we live on the side of a mountain and have to strain to see any neighbors. In fact, with the trailer parked on our side lawn, the view is actually better than where we are going. We joke that if we had a sewer connection and a 50 amp electrical service, we could just camp there and save the driving.

We spend our days exploring (by truck) the area around us. We’ll travel an hour or more from the park to visit sites that appeal to us. Most of the time, we leave in the late morning and return at 4:30 or 5:00 in the afternoon. Mrs. Lion does the driving. She likes it and really enjoys these trips. I like them too, especially because Mrs. Lion is only distracted by the road and we can talk and talk.

When we get back to the trailer, the dog gets a walk and possibly a swim. We then hang around. Translated, Mrs. Lion is deep in her iPad. I wander around the trailer and eventually settle down to some afternoon TV from the satellite. We then either cook dinner or go out. When we get back, same thing. Usually Mrs. Lion is achy from the long day of sightseeing. Around 11 pm we go to bed. Many nights she will tease me or even get me off. She complains that the bed makes it very difficult to sit next to me and jerk me off. I really appreciate the effort she puts in.

Occasionally, maybe once or twice on a trip, Mrs. Lion will bring out her CBT kit and  put clothespins on my balls or Velcro on my cock. In the four years we have been “camping”, with an average of ten trips a year, I can count the number of times I’ve been tied up on one hand, and the number of times I’ve been spanked on the other hand.

So, when Mrs. Lion writes that we will play at least two times on this trip, I suspect she means she will tie up my balls or use her trusty Velcro or clothespins. Yes, that is cool, but in her post she indicated that play would be a diversion that would stop me from missing TV. The problem is that this sort of play takes maybe fifteen minutes. The other issue is that after a day of driving and sightseeing, she isn’t in the mood for anything very active. The same is true when we are home. She often writes about her plans for me. But when it is time for play, she is exhausted and hurting. It just doesn’t happen.

I’ve learned not to expect those plans to happen. I don’t mind, when we are home. Sure, I wish we could do the things she writes that she will do that night. But I get it. Life almost always intrudes. I am lucky in one very important respect; Mrs. Lion almost every night teases me or gives me an orgasm. That is one good intention she makes happen all the time. I love that.

Back to the campground. Even if she is up to playing, there is little room in the bedroom to move. The queen-sized bed pretty much fills the space. So play, even spanking isn’t exactly easy. Mrs. Lion manages, but it is difficult. She ends up kneeling on the bed – remember that she has trouble sitting up on it, much less kneeling – and while trying to balance, swat me. At home she can stand up with me lying face-down on the bed.  Swatting is a cinch. We talked about trying with me over her lap. I suspect that will be very difficult in the trailer.

Mrs. Lion likes games. That’s what keeps her buried in her iPad during her/our free time. I’m not that interested in them. I like to read. I can do that on the trip. But not for 3 or 4 hours every night. That’s why I’m unhappy about this situation. When we had our first travel trailer, after the second trip with just DVD’s to watch, I couldn’t stand it and bought a portable Dish TV Tailgater. When we traded that camper in for our current fifth wheel, we got a roof-mounted DirecTV HD system. We have DirecTV at home, so we just bring receivers from the house for our trips. It saves us a lot each month.

I don’t think I am being a brat. I’m a native New Yorker and lived in Manhattan or a nearby suburb for most of my life. RV’s and campgrounds are not in my DNA. Mrs. Lion’s family as well as her first husband, had RV’s and took trips in them. I have no idea what they did with their time. Whatever it was, clearly we aren’t doing that now.

That’s my side of the story. We are on the road today and will be set up at the park by mid-afternoon. We have some work to do to finish sterilizing the water system (you need to do this if you don’t use your trailer all year round). Then, maybe we’ll drive 30 or 40 miles for dinner. We’ll get home by 9pm. Mrs. Lion will be exhausted and will sink into her recliner and play “Kill The Vegetable”, or whatever game she has on the iPad. I can play a DVD. We bought some movies. Or I can stare at the TV wishing I could watch my stories. If I watch a movie, we can head for bed at 11. Mrs. Lion can get much-needed sleep. Due to my sore shoulder, I’ll lie in bed a while then turn on my reading light and wish I could watch some late night TV. I’ll go into the living room and sit in my recliner and read. Eventually, I’ll go back to bed and the drugs will give me pain relief and sleep.

I hope you can see that there isn’t a lot for me to look forward to in this scenario. To be fair, I love our adventures. We’ve been to this area at least four times in the past, and I’m sure we can fill the day with laughter and fun. We love to do things together. But when the sun goes down and my lioness is exhausted and achy, I’ll sit in my recliner and long for the distraction the TV would provide.

 

We got our trailer back with just hours to spare for our trip. Unfortunately, the satellite is still not working. Lion is not happy. He says I’ll be on my iPad playing games and there’s only so many episodes of MacGyver and Emergency one can watch. I have promised him I won’t be on my iPad constantly. He doesn’t want to do “camping” things like sitting around the fire or even sitting outside. The smoke bothers him and, more importantly, where we’re heading it will be in the 90s so a camp fire is overkill.

So what do we do if we can’t watch TV? I think this is the question of the ages for us. Our play sessions last far shorter than an hour usually. Lion doesn’t like to play games, otherwise I’d drag along Trivial Pursuit. We do have boxes of movies and TV shows other than MacGyver and Emergency. We can read. We can talk. There’s an observatory that will occupy us for one night.

Most of our adventures take place during daylight hours. I wonder what sort of night life we could find. I don’t mean dance clubs or bars. Neither of us cares about that. But there may be something going on other than at the observatory. We’ll have to investigate.

On one of the nights we’ll definitely be testing out Lion’s theory that a punishment should start out slowly. Unless he misbehaves it will just be during a maintenance spanking, but still valid. That’s not to say we won’t be playing more than one night. In addition, Lion is wild again because he’s either got allergies or a cold that is making him miserable. I’m a softy. I unlocked him and left him wild. Personally, I think it’s easier for him in the trailer.

Spanked lion
This was the result of one the most severe play spankings I’ve received. I only felt it for a few hours. Generally, a spanking looks much worse than it really is. Bruises and white areas are a good sign the message has been sent.

My early research led me to believe that disciplinary spankings start hard and stay hard from beginning to end with no regard for how much they hurt. Disciplinary spankings are supposed to hurt. That’s the entire point. Right? Well, yes but there may be more to it than that.

Let me be clear. A disciplinary spanking should hurt a lot. It’s purpose is to deter future misbehavior. My reading of DD and spanking blogs appeared to reinforce the idea that a spanking should start and stay with hard swats from beginning to end. But then as I learned more, including contact from some disciplinary wives,  I find this concept isn’t exactly right.

My spankings are generally very brief with less than ten hard swats. Mrs. Lion starts full force and every few seconds lands a swat. This brief-but-violent technique is very painful, but not memorable. The small number of swats doesn’t provide enough damage to hurt  for more than a half hour or so.

My original thoughts on this matter were based on the idea of separating play spankings from punishment. Mrs. Lion has been play spanking me for years. She starts off with her hand and slowly builds intensity, changing to paddles after I’ve had a chance to generate enough endorphins to tolerate more intense stimulation. So, if I am to understand the difference between play and punishment, I figured that the disciplinary spanking should have no warmup. That would make the difference crystal clear to me.

It’s a nice idea, but it flies in the face of my physiology. If I were tied down, then starting hard and going on for a long time would be possible. It would make me miserable and I would fight to escape. I know because we tried that during a play session years ago. It was unbearable agony. Mrs. Lion stopped just before I started to cry.

I don’t think that tears are inappropriate during a punishment spanking, but there is a different, more humane way to get there. If the objective is to deter a behavior, then the punishment should provide sufficient discomfort to make a strong impression. There are many ways to achieve this result.

If the results of a spanking are felt for an extended time, it provides a lasting incentive to behave. My current pain is severe, but of very short duration. I suggest that a much longer duration of discomfort provides a stronger object lesson. In order for that to happen to me, I have to tolerate the spanking so that it can go on long enough to make sitting difficult for days.

My newest thinking is that a punishment spanking should include a warmup. I’ve read of one woman who does a warmup until her bottom is able to handle hard swats. Then she stops and reminds him of his transgression then says, “Now we will begin your punishment.” She then goes on in earnest. He’s ready to accept her rapid, hard blows because she took the time to let his endorphins catch up.

Just because he is able to hold still for more doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling anything. Quite the contrary. He will feel the swats, perhaps even cry. But he is able to handle the punishment and only minimally squirm and kick. He will scream and complain, but he is inside his ability to handle the swats.

The disciplinary wife has to be sensitive to how her male is reacting, even during the punishment phase. He will need her to start with less severe swats and be allowed to tolerate what’s coming later. The objective of this spanking isn’t immediate reaction. It’s a deep red color with bruising. It will provide lasting pain that will reinforce the lesson he has to learn.

The rear end, particularly mine, heals very quickly. A bruised bottom isn’t dangerous or the sign of abuse. It’s the objective of a spanking. If sitting is uncomfortable for at least 24 hours after the spanking, it has been successful. It may take a number of spankings to get to this point. Remember, the objective isn’t to over stress your male. It’s to provide sufficient discomfort to remind him to behave, at least for a while.

This may not be true or apply to you or your DD relationship. It’s only my current thinking and I haven’t yet experienced it. I do know that a lot of people want play spankings to end this way. I never did. But I do want my disciplinary spankings to be this severe. I want to be able to tolerate the pain. I know this takes a warmup and the ability to give feedback (Yellow and Red). If Mrs. Lion takes this approach (that includes maintenance spankings), we’ll both let you know how it works.

You may laugh when I say we do experiments. I think that’s a perfectly fitting term. We try something and if it doesn’t work, we tweak it. Every trial gets us closer to the “correct” answer. At the very least, it gets us further from what doesn’t work. The two trials under construction most recently are ruined orgasms and punishment spanking.

Originally I thought ruined orgasms were a bad thing. Who wants to go through all the work of edging with the hopes of leaving Lion hanging, only to go a little too far, but not far enough? Not me. Lion isn’t too fond of them either. I even decided that if I managed to go too far, I’d salvage it by starting the strokes again so he’d have a more normal orgasm. But Lion, ever the researcher, found that ruined orgasms can have less evil connotations. He’s termed them gentle orgasms. Live and learn.

Initially, Lion thought punishment spankings should be somewhat similar to play spankings. Then he discovered that they should hurt. Duh! Makes perfect sense. Why didn’t we think of it before? Why should a punishment be anything like play? Play is for fun. Punishment is to change behavior. Am I more likely to stop speeding if I get a gentle warning from a cop or if I get a $300 ticket? For me, neither actually, but many people need the $300 ticket to slow them down. However, Lion recently figured out that a punishment spanking should start out slowly and build to severe swats. I start out with vicious swats and Lion can’t really handle more than ten before he cries foul. Perhaps a build up of lesser swats to get the blood flowing, will help him stay still to handle to upcoming nasty swats. Trial and error.

I’m not sure we’ll ever perfect anything. Good thing the experiments are so much fun.