My early research led me to believe that disciplinary spankings start hard and stay hard from beginning to end with no regard for how much they hurt. Disciplinary spankings are supposed to hurt. That’s the entire point. Right? Well, yes but there may be more to it than that.
Let me be clear. A disciplinary spanking should hurt a lot. It’s purpose is to deter future misbehavior. My reading of DD and spanking blogs appeared to reinforce the idea that a spanking should start and stay with hard swats from beginning to end. But then as I learned more, including contact from some disciplinary wives, I find this concept isn’t exactly right.
My spankings are generally very brief with less than ten hard swats. Mrs. Lion starts full force and every few seconds lands a swat. This brief-but-violent technique is very painful, but not memorable. The small number of swats doesn’t provide enough damage to hurt for more than a half hour or so.
My original thoughts on this matter were based on the idea of separating play spankings from punishment. Mrs. Lion has been play spanking me for years. She starts off with her hand and slowly builds intensity, changing to paddles after I’ve had a chance to generate enough endorphins to tolerate more intense stimulation. So, if I am to understand the difference between play and punishment, I figured that the disciplinary spanking should have no warmup. That would make the difference crystal clear to me.
It’s a nice idea, but it flies in the face of my physiology. If I were tied down, then starting hard and going on for a long time would be possible. It would make me miserable and I would fight to escape. I know because we tried that during a play session years ago. It was unbearable agony. Mrs. Lion stopped just before I started to cry.
I don’t think that tears are inappropriate during a punishment spanking, but there is a different, more humane way to get there. If the objective is to deter a behavior, then the punishment should provide sufficient discomfort to make a strong impression. There are many ways to achieve this result.
If the results of a spanking are felt for an extended time, it provides a lasting incentive to behave. My current pain is severe, but of very short duration. I suggest that a much longer duration of discomfort provides a stronger object lesson. In order for that to happen to me, I have to tolerate the spanking so that it can go on long enough to make sitting difficult for days.
My newest thinking is that a punishment spanking should include a warmup. I’ve read of one woman who does a warmup until her bottom is able to handle hard swats. Then she stops and reminds him of his transgression then says, “Now we will begin your punishment.” She then goes on in earnest. He’s ready to accept her rapid, hard blows because she took the time to let his endorphins catch up.
Just because he is able to hold still for more doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling anything. Quite the contrary. He will feel the swats, perhaps even cry. But he is able to handle the punishment and only minimally squirm and kick. He will scream and complain, but he is inside his ability to handle the swats.
The disciplinary wife has to be sensitive to how her male is reacting, even during the punishment phase. He will need her to start with less severe swats and be allowed to tolerate what’s coming later. The objective of this spanking isn’t immediate reaction. It’s a deep red color with bruising. It will provide lasting pain that will reinforce the lesson he has to learn.
The rear end, particularly mine, heals very quickly. A bruised bottom isn’t dangerous or the sign of abuse. It’s the objective of a spanking. If sitting is uncomfortable for at least 24 hours after the spanking, it has been successful. It may take a number of spankings to get to this point. Remember, the objective isn’t to over stress your male. It’s to provide sufficient discomfort to remind him to behave, at least for a while.
This may not be true or apply to you or your DD relationship. It’s only my current thinking and I haven’t yet experienced it. I do know that a lot of people want play spankings to end this way. I never did. But I do want my disciplinary spankings to be this severe. I want to be able to tolerate the pain. I know this takes a warmup and the ability to give feedback (Yellow and Red). If Mrs. Lion takes this approach (that includes maintenance spankings), we’ll both let you know how it works.