For men, I think it is safe to say that the desire to surrender to a partner is sexually motivated. Even guys who say their nature has always been submissive, express themselves in sexual terms. That’s certainly true of me.
I get aroused when I think about Mrs. Lion dominating me. The idea of her punishing me is very hot. Of course, the actual punishments are anything but arousing. Sexual arousal is the light that draws the moth, or in this case, the lion. What strikes me as odd is that even though I know what is coming and how much it hurts, I am still aroused thinking about it.
This is obviously deep-seated programming. Perhaps it is even instinctive. In any case, I can’t control it. No matter how painful and humiliating my last punishment was, contemplating the next one turns me on. One blogger referred to this by equating submission to a sexy game. She posited that men love games, particularly sexy ones. I buy that. But wouldn’t you think that we would learn the outcome is always unpleasant? We don’t.
I don’t think women look at it like this. They seem to have a much more practical perspective. In many cases, I think they see their role as a way to please their partners. It’s a sort of play acting. This was most certainly the case with Mrs. Lion. It may well still be the case. I have realized this from the beginning. I’ve hoped that once she got into the swing of things, she would find value and seriously adopt it.
She’s taken orgasm control to heart. She absolutely expects to be my only source of sexual pleasure whether or not I am wearing a chastity device. The device isn’t as important as believing I won’t break this critical rule. She’s told me that masturbating is almost as serious as cheating with another woman. I understand. She’s had a bit of trouble articulating the place my chastity device has in all this. She’s willing to let me go without it. But she’s also said that she likes knowing it’s in place.
I’m pretty sure that domestic discipline andfall into the category of things she does to please me. That’s fine with me for now. We’re still figuring out how punishments work and where she wants to exercise her power. This is a slow process that we started well over a year ago. Perhaps, over time, and DD will just become a natural part of our relationship. There won’t be a big reason why we do it. We just do. At least I hope that’s what will happen. Meanwhile we try different things and keep plugging along.