I’ve been studying how other bloggers write about punishment. Every one that I believe is real, always have two phases, at least, to a punishment. If you consider the spanking as the main course, then the followup is desert.
This idea makes very good sense. Since a spanking that is going to last more than a few swats, requires a warm up, there is a strong resemblance to a “play” (BDSM) spanking. For me, the desert would provide unmistakable evidence that I am being punished.
Without exception, domestic discipline punishments, including spanking, are all childhood-based punishment. Spanking, corner standing, writing assignments, mouth washing, privilege loss, and early bedtime are all classic punishments for children.
I think there is a good reason why adults are punished as children: it fits the maternal model of female authority where the male is submitting. It’s not a reach for both partners. Many wives jokingly refer to their husbands as their oldest children. I suspect that this reference has more than a grain of truth. In the case of, especially with domestic discipline, the maternal role is actual.
Childish punishments resonate with men who were disciplined this way as children. Men like me who had never experienced this as kids, have to learn what the other group already knows. In my case, I have been spanked during BDSM scenes. Many were quite severe, though none reached the point that Lionesshas been giving me.
Quiz shows always have at least two parts to each game. “Family Feud,” for example has the regular play and then the “Quick Money” game. Audiences clearly prefer this format. Punishment is no different. The spanking is the main game. It provides direct stimulation that reflects the disciplining wife’s unhappiness with her husband’s behavior. Even if she isn’t angry at the time, this activity provides direct evidence of her displeasure. She was hurt by his disobedience, for example, so now he will get to feel the way he made her feel. Many women include a “scold” to underline what upset her.
The second phase, dessert if you will, serves the purpose of forcing the disciplined husband to seriously consider his misdeed. It’s the quiet phase of the punishment. Many women use “” as this second phase. Her husband is made to stand with his nose tightly pressed into the corner. Often, he is required to have his hands behind his back or at his side. The average sentence for seems to be fifteen to thirty minutes. The room is quiet and he is forced to feel the effects of his spanking and hopefully meditate on his sins.
Writing assignments requires him to neatly write a phrase over and over. This phrase almost always is a promise to not repeat the bad behavior; for example, “I won’t interrupt Mrs. Lion.” or “I will eat more neatly.” You get the idea. Writing that 100 or 200 times takes a while and if he is sitting on a hard chair, will intensify the memory of the spanking.
Mouth soaping is more than sticking a bar of soap in his mouth. Usually, the bar of soap is thoroughly wet with warm water and then the disciplining wife soaps her hand and then washes the inside of his mouth with the soap. It generally takes repeating adding soap to her hands so she can thoroughly coat his tongue, gums front and back, and all of his mouth. The soap should be fairly soft at this point. Then at least a third-to-a-half of the bar goes into his mouth and he has to hold it there. Many women soap first, then have him stand in the corner for 15 to 30 minutes with the bar in his mouth.
These “quiet” dessert activities clearly indicate that this isn’t play. It’s punishment. The purpose, of course, is to assure he understands that repeating the misbehavior is something to avoid at all costs. A spanking alone is effective in many cases, but if you add dessert, the lesson is strongly reinforced.