I had a colonoscopy this morning. It was less of a problem than I was led to believe. The nasty drink wasn’t as nasty as I thought it would be. There was just an awful lot of it. As for the procedure itself, I was knocked out for the whole thing. All I know is that it went well and, pending test outcomes, seemed clear.
For once, Lion was the “responsible driver” and I was the patient. Not that I’ve been jealous of his recent procedures. I’d much rather be the driver. And now I’m the one napping at a moment’s notice. I’m sure my anesthesia will wear off quicker than Lion’s did. He had heavier duty anesthesia.
Let’s move on to some old business. I didn’t mean to stir up a hornet’s nest yesterday when I said I was overwhelmed. Yes, Lion tends to ask for a lot all at once, but it’s my inability to “stick up for myself” that’s the problem. I was doing so well, too. I used the punishment spanking technique we decided might work better. I soaped his mouth. I thoughtwas back. And then he suggested he needed to be humiliated. For some reason that pushed it over the edge.
Why would humiliation be too much? I put him in diapers from time to time. I’ve painted his pretty toe nails in the past. Oddly enough, I think it’s because he says I should like it. It’s the “shoulds” that rub me the wrong way.
What if I said he should love raisins, PopTarts, or Cool Whip? I might get him to eat them because I’m in charge, but he’d hate it. He’d balk. And he wouldn’t be any closer to loving them no matter how many times I say “should”.
I may, in fact, not mind humiliating him. I just don’t want to be pushed in that direction. I understand Lion wasn’t really trying to push. As I commented yesterday, he tends to get excited about things. He wants a pony and he’ll make every argument he can think of to get that pony. My challenge is to decide if having a pony is a good thing or not. I don’t fault him for wanting the pony. I fault me for feeling pressured to give him the pony.