Month: July 2017 (Page 16)

Lion has been on a sort of a rampage for the past few days. No satellite in the camper almost cancelled the trip. I suggested we stay home so he wouldn’t be miserable and then he itemized how much the camper costs per trip and if we cancelled one then it worked out to X dollars. It’s all his money since he pays for everything. He hates the camper and his life is horrible.

I may have misjudged how much Lion relies on his access to television. Generally, I can take it or leave it. Most of the time it’s background noise. I can’t read with it on. I can’t write with it on. Currently I’m sitting at the picnic table outside because Lion is watching “Magnum, PI” on DVD.

At this point, I’m not sure if it’s the loss of satellite or camping in general that has him so pissed off. I know he’s also in some pain. He can’t get comfortable in the recliner in the camper. I suggested the bedroom and maybe some play last night since I had promised him play time and he insists I always go back on my promises.

Thursday night, while he was in full rant about the TV situation, I was putting his vitamins together while he wrote his post that published yesterday. I looked online to see if there were any solutions to his lack of satellite. There were. One possibility was that we could pick up a portable satellite while on our trip. Another possibility has us waiting for delivery in about a week. Lion opted for the later delivery since it was a better price and it’s more like the dish that lives on the roof of the camper. I see it as a solution for those campsites that have the lovely shade trees that block the satellites view of the sky. The portable one can be moved to a more favorable location.

With the satellite problem solved for future trips, we settled in for the night. I thought. Lion likes a bowl of cereal before bed. He’d also taken a sleeping pill. He fell asleep with the bowl in his hand and spilled cereal and milk all over the bed. I cleaned it up and I thought we were going to sleep. Nope. Lion loves to talk when he’s taken a sleeping pill. That night’s conversation was on how horny he was and if I wasn’t going to do anything about it, he would. I told him he better not. We went back and forth about it and didn’t make it to sleep until 2:30.

On about six hours sleep, we set out. Lion offered to drive part of the way, but he doesn’t like to drive the truck and he can’t really use two hands to drive. Not that I keep two hands on the wheel for the most part, but when things get windy or traffic is bad I do. So I decided I’d drive the whole way. When we got in, I started to hook things up. I got to the sewer line first and since it’s under the slide I thought it would be a good idea to get it set while the slide wasn’t open so I didn’t have to crawl around under the slide. Nope. Lion wanted the electrical first. [Lion – If we connect electrical first, we have additional power to open the slide rooms]  He was looking over my shoulder the whole time. I’m sure he thought he was helping but mostly he was telling me I was doing everything wrong.

Once inside the camper, I got a few things situated, sat down for a drink and then made the bed. After that I took out my iPad. Bad move. Lion said we hadn’t even made it an hour before it came out. I don’t recall there being an outright ban on the iPad. I was tired, sweaty, and just wanted to relax a little. Nope. IPads down. The ironic thing is that I was going to leave the iPad home, but it turned out to be the only place that had our campsite number listed. Good thing I brought it. Now put it away for the rest of the trip.

Before we left I decided we were going to play last night whether I was achy, falling down tired from being up until 2:30 the night before or there was a freak hurricane. Lion was tired too and couldn’t get comfortable in the recliner so I suggested moving to the bedroom for play. What kind of play? Whatever he could handle. Then he said I shouldn’t wait till so late to play. OK. So we went into the bedroom to watch DVDs. He kept accusing me of falling asleep already. I wasn’t but after about an hour I did. This morning he told me I should just tell him we’re playing and take it from there.

So here’s the deal, I’m tired of the ranting Lion. I gave him a few days to snap out of it. I’m not going to be wrong this entire trip. I can’t fix the satellite. I did offer the solution for future trips. I make a quarter of what Lion earns so I won’t be taking over the camper payment any time soon. If his life is horrible, then I must be contributing to that and we need to have a larger discussion than just a satellite not working. Otherwise, I’m taking over and snarky comments will be dealt with as needed.

For men, I think it is safe to say that the desire to surrender to a partner is sexually motivated. Even guys who say their nature has always been submissive, express themselves in sexual terms. That’s certainly true of me.

I get aroused when I think about Mrs. Lion dominating me. The idea of her punishing me is very hot. Of course, the actual punishments are anything but arousing. Sexual arousal is the light that draws the moth, or in this case, the lion. What strikes me as odd is that even though I know what is coming and how much it hurts, I am still aroused thinking about it.

This is obviously deep-seated programming. Perhaps it is even instinctive. In any case, I can’t control it. No matter how painful and humiliating my last punishment was, contemplating the next one turns me on. One blogger referred to this by equating submission to a sexy game. She posited that men love games, particularly sexy ones. I buy that. But wouldn’t you think that we would learn the outcome is always unpleasant? We don’t.

I don’t think women look at it like this. They seem to have a much more practical perspective. In many cases, I think they see their role as a way to please their partners. It’s a sort of play acting. This was most certainly the case with Mrs. Lion. It may well still be the case. I have realized this from the beginning. I’ve hoped that once she got into the swing of things, she would find value and seriously adopt it.

She’s taken orgasm control to heart. She absolutely expects to be my only source of sexual pleasure whether or not I am wearing a chastity device. The device isn’t as important as believing I won’t break this critical rule. She’s told me that masturbating is almost as serious as cheating with another woman. I understand. She’s had a bit of trouble articulating the place my chastity device has in all this. She’s willing to let me go without it. But she’s also said that she likes knowing it’s in place.

I’m pretty sure that domestic discipline and FLR fall into the category of things she does to please me. That’s fine with me for now. We’re still figuring out how punishments work and where she wants to exercise her power. This is a slow process that we started well over a year ago. Perhaps, over time, FLR and DD will just become a natural part of our relationship. There won’t be a big reason why we do it. We just do. At least I hope that’s what will happen. Meanwhile we try different things and keep plugging along.