The Swat Test
Lion made a sexy little paddle. He put “Hers” on the handle and “His” on the business end. It’s a duplicate of our kitchen paddle which we also got for the camper. I thought it would be interesting to hang it just inside the doorway. I also thought it should say “the Enforcer” or words to that effect. Lion suggested something that would make it evident whose rules were being enforced. I think it looks great. But how does it feel?
Last night I tested it out. Granted, he wasn’t due any punishment and I wasn’t feeling particularly well, but I figured I could muster enough swats to put the paddle through its paces. Lion suggested OTK since it’s a small paddle. That required going into the living room since we haven’t figured out how to do it on the bed yet. He gave up on the idea when he saw the face I made. He didn’t want to dampen my already diminished enthusiasm for swatting him. He knew I didn’t feel well and wasn’t going to push his luck.
It didn’t take long at all for Lion’s buns to turn bright rosy pink. I was surprised. It’s not a very heavy paddle. I started out slow as I have been lately. I swatted all around his cheeks to get him warmed up. I snuck a few harder swats in here and there. If I had meant business I’m sure he’d have bruised easily with it. I ended with some harder swats that left Lion yelping a little. He said it stung for a while afterward.
We now have a formidable and stylish camper paddle for those times that Lion just can’t help himself while we’re away. I may just suggest we do the same treatment to the kitchen paddle. The only difference is that the kitchen paddle has a greater chance of being seen by others. I’m not sure how dangerously Lion wants to live.
[Lion – I’m game. But then you already knew that. I’ll get more vinyl letters and get to work]