Month: August 2017 (Page 3)

severely spanked bottom
Is this the 2.0 spanking goal?

Mrs. Lion has referred to Lioness 2.0 as the next stage in her growth as a keyholder and disciplining wife. She occasionally mentions that 2.0 was around for a discipline session. Other times she laments that 2.0 has gone away. All these references offer insight into how she feels about our disciplinary relationship. But I think there may be a problem.

First of all, I am done with the term “domestic discipline”. It’s creation goes back to certain Christian groups who believe the husband has a christian duty use corporal punishments on his wife. Consent is not necessary. Some people writing about female-led relationship refer corporal punishments as domestic discipline. No, it’s not that simple. What does this have to do with 2.0?

Domestic discipline has no accepted definition when referring to couples whose motivations aren’t religious. Most of the couples who practice corporal punishment on the male do it because they agree that it works for them. There is no philosophical or religious rationalization. He may have wanted to be spanked. She may have found that once she has him in the spanking position, she can go past his erotic fantasy and use his bottom as a way to modify his behavior. Domestic discipline? No. Consensual activity that provides behavior modification? Yes.

2.0 is Mrs. Lion’s current goal in terms of managing me. She describes 2.0 as severe, consistent, and unimpressed with my efforts to escape punishment. Fair enough. But how can we know when she has made the transformation from 1.0 to 2.0. This dilemma is very similar to dancing on the head of the domestic discipline pin. Is it so vague as to be worth discarding? Or, can we list specific, measurable behaviors that mean 2.0 has arrived?

Consistency: Based on Mrs. Lion’s comments, 2.0 catches me almost every time I break a rule. She promptly punishes me for each offense. She is aware of my effect on her. If I start to make her angry, she punishes me at the next opportune moment. No excuses, no forgiveness.

Punishment: Mrs. Lion says that 2.0 spanks me until there are bruises and white spots inside them. She ignores my pleading for her to stop. No mercy. Of course, she recognizes my “Yellow” or “Red” calls. Yellow has her back off a little and then work back up to harder and faster spanks. She doesn’t stop until I am properly spanked. No mercy. She has described 2.0 this way. These aren’t my ideas.

Her references to 2.0 are limited to these two areas. She never proposed that 2.0 is a fundamental personality change.

Is there any way to understand her progress in these areas? Bear in mind, these are goals she has set. Up until now, she seems to feel disappointed in herself for 2.0’s absence. I don’t like that at all. It’s her pattern to believe she isn’t succeeding at things. Of course, she does succeed at everything she tries.

She is kind and loving. 2.0 is too, but not when I misbehave. 2.0 may not initially want to go to the upper end of spanking, but she will start close and work to getting all the way. At least that is what I believe Mrs. Lion means. I know that I have the consistency requirement  correct.

Ok, so one measure of progress to 2.0 is what percentage of my infractions she catches and punishes. How can we know? Well, if I break a rule and she doesn’t spot it, I will report it to her. She can take it from there. If I fail to self-report, I get severely punished. How will she know? Because she can test me by pretending not to notice. This is valuable because in a sense it becomes a game she can win. 2.0 is here when she notices them all. It’s not that hard, really.

Punishment has to be judged by her. She is an objective woman. She can analyze whether or not her punishment was as severe as it should be. 2.0 is here when she recognizes that she hasn’t gone far enough and then, instead of feeling badly, she just gets back to work. I know I will hate this. I also know that’s the entire point.

Poor me. I may have just used my 2.0 duck call. I think I hear her answering.

suitcase
I took care of Lion’s suitcase when he arrived last night.

When I was waiting for Lion at the airport last night, a 20-something guy ran into the arms of his girlfriend and for a minute it looked like they’d have sex right there in arrivals. I thought about their greeting versus the greeting Lion and I would have. Theirs was I-can’t-live-without-you love and I wondered if they’d ever make it out of bed this weekend. Then there was the couple who were waiting for their kids and his/her parents. (You can learn a lot from overheard conversations.) She was stationed by the baggage carousel and he was waiting near the escalators. She dragged four large bags off the carousel and he didn’t move a muscle to help her pull them over to the escalator.

I’d staked my claim to a spot halfway between the escalator and baggage claim. One eye out for Lion. The other out for his bag. When he texted me that he was coming in at another gate, I had to figure out which post to abandon. I was halfway to the other gate when he said the shuttle was delayed. He was walking. I circled back to baggage claim, found his bag and was just nearing his gate when I saw him. He was tired from carrying his computer bag and not being able to switch hands because of his shoulder. We got his computer bag settled on top of the suitcase and then we hugged and kissed.

In hindsight, it was sort of a mixture of the young couple and the couple waiting for their kids and parents. Not the urgency of the young couple, but more caring than the other couple. (In all fairness, I don’t know how caring the second couple really is. I can only go by what I observed.) The urgency, in my mind, was to get the bag out of Lion’s hand so he could be more comfortable. Of course we’re very happy to see each other. And yes we often think we can’t live without each other. To an outside observer, I suppose our greeting might have looked similar to the second couple. “Oh good you’re home. Let’s go. Traffic is bad.” Boring. What they didn’t hear, because we never said it, was that Lion’s arm no longer hurt because the computer bag was on the suitcase that I had already gotten from baggage claim and I was wheeling the suitcase so Lion didn’t have to. That, to me, is the middle-aged version of I-can’t-live-without-you.

Wow. That took a sugary, sappy sweet turn at the end there. I bet you never expected that!

[Lion – We’ve never been smoochy at greetings. But one look at either of our faces reveals the joy and relief at the end of a separation. The look of relief wasn’t because I didn’t have to keep carrying my bag. It was because I felt the absolute joy and relief that my life could go on again.]

I flew back home yesterday. During the long flight, I thought about my recent post listing five ways you know you are in a FLR relationship. I was serious about those reasons, but i realized that there is actually one and only one way you can truly tell.

A FLR, especially one with discipline, almost always starts as a role play. The male suggests he likes something submissive. In my case, it was chastity and spanking. His partner agrees to play. If this continues for a long time, it doesn’t mean there is a FLR. It’s absolutely possible for people to do serial role play forever. One partner (guess which?), comes to believe the roles are real. They are sure they are in a FLR.

As far as I can tell, the only true test of the role play vs FLR is how the woman thinks of what they are doing. It’s hard to deny that this is the one true test.What’s trickier is that I am sure there are many, perhaps including my lioness, who persist in believing they do role play, may have crossed the line into a FLR. I’m not writing this to convince anyone they are in a FLR. I think it is just good to step back and take a longer view.

This is how I see my power exchange.

For a long time, I thought of my enforced chastity and FLR as sexual role play. I am aggressive and dominant in life. My nickname has stuck for over two decades. People who know me feel it fits very well. I’ve been the leader in our house as long as we have been together. It works well for us.

Then one night I asked my wife to lock me in a chastity device. I admit it was a hot fantasy. Over time I became trained to only ejaculate when Mrs. Lion stimulates me. Chastity device or no chastity device, that’s how I am now. So I am truly sexually submissive. That doesn’t mean Mrs. Lion is sexually dominant. It also doesn’t mean that she didn’t train me to submit to her.

The change was driven by the roles we play. Now that we are in our fourth year of enforced chastity, Mrs. Lion accepts my submission and her role controlling my releases. So, in a very narrow sense, she is sexually dominant. She accepts that.

FLR is similar.

Again, I asked Mrs. Lion to take charge. She didn’t like that idea at all. So, at first, we narrowed it down to me being required to obey rules she makes. Failing to obey resulted in a spanking. This was difficult but more limited than expecting her to become the supreme ruler of our relationship. For a long time, she failed to notice infractions. When she did, she often failed to punish me.

It was clearly role play.

Over time, she became much better at observing infractions an made sure I was punished most of the time. That’s where we are now. Punishments are more severe. I expect they will get worse as time goes on. Occasionally, I am punished for doing something that is not a rule, but Mrs. Lion feels needs correction. She has written that she is planning to come up with things without my help. I am grateful for this effort.

But, it is still role play.

It will become FLR when she accepts her authority and expresses it in contexts I usually manage. It doesn’t mean that the end game is for me to be a house pet. It also doesn’t mean that I will stop being a partner and taking charge of large areas of our relationship. In fact nothing about our relationship has to change at all. That’s the tricky part.

It is a true FLR when she accepts as her natural right to assert her control over any area of my life. She doesn’t have to consult me. She just steps in and takes charge.

The key is very simple. You are in a FLR when the dominant female believes and acknowledges she is in charge.

That’s it.

In our case, we are on a path that works for us. I don’t think it matters how it is labeled. What does matter is that we are both happy with how things are going.

I am very happy.

Lion is on his way home today. In a post the other day, Lion suggested I’d be swatting him in the truck at the airport. Don’t be silly, Lion. Your car is easier to maneuver in airport parking. It would be SUV swatting. If I do it. One never knows what I’ll do.

Last night Lion reminded me it was punishment night. He said it doesn’t really matter because he’s so far away. I told him it does matter. Just because he’s out of reach doesn’t mean he’ll always be out of reach. Eventually he’ll be home. Technically he missed reminding me by a minute but I was feeling charitable. I won’t punish him for missing.

While I left Lion wild, I never put his rules on hold for his trip. He reminded me of punishment night on Monday. He knew he had to on Thursday. I don’t think he had any real expectation that he wouldn’t be punished for forgetting. Unless I forgot too. Which I did. However, if I remembered at any point I could still punish him. I’m under no time limit.

I cant wait for Lion to get home. Neither of us does well when we’re apart. We don’t sleep well normally. Separately it’s almost hopeless. Tonight will be much better. At least if we don’t sleep, the other side of the bed won’t be empty.

We’re off on a trip on Thursday. I can’t believe Labor Day is already here. We have a lot of preparation to do this weekend. The important part is that we’ll be together. It’s sickeningly sweet, right? I know. Isn’t it great?