The biggest question someone in my position should never ask is: “Would you keep [fill in the word, punishing, spanking, pegging, locking me up in a chastity device] If I want you to stop?” The obvious expectation is that the answer is, “Hell no, you worm! You’re my toy!” That’s how the standard voice in my head says it.
Of course, I know better. If Mrs. Lion thinks I am asking the question seriously, she will most likely agree and the action stops. If I ask in the heat of punishment or denial, then I expect the answer will be very similar to my expectation. It’s contrary to the essence of submission to know you can turn off the domination with a single sentence. If the activity is consensual, then the submissive always has that power.
The trick for the dominant is understanding the full context of the discussion. For example, when I was in serious pain after my surgery, if Mrs. Lion hadn’t suspended my rules on her own, I would have had to tell her I needed to stop submitting. Very fortunately, my lioness is very loving and sensitive to my ability to deal with our power exchange.
Is that fair? Should Mrs. Lion intuitively know when I am asking for dialogue to make me feel more submissive and when to recognize I’m serious. It isn’t that asking questions is wrong. It’s just that question that will bring trouble. Consider the dominant’s point of view. If you are asked if you will continue even if your submissive wants to stop and you say that you won’t, what does that say about you? Are you a tyrant? An unfeeling thug?
I know that if I am sincerely unhappy and I ask Mrs. Lion to stop, she will. She is starting to like being in charge. There are things about it that are fun for her. But we both know that she does it because it is what I want; perhaps need. I’m very grateful. I’m not going to ask the fatal question.